No, he has an extra spring in his swing!

Ah, the silly inside jokes that come when you've just eaten half a pint of Dove Ice Cream and you've had a good night.

You know, I was thinking about stealing Mollie's idea of making a list of my favorite moments from Senior Year, but realized that I would be constantly editing it because I'd forget some. I still really want to do it though. And I just might.

You see, right now I'm sitting at my Dad's office, waiting for 40 pages of information on Cushings syndrome to print off. That's right, 40 pages. I really hope my dad doesn't mind that I'm using all of his paper and ink. Oh well, his fault for not getting a new computer ;-)

So I'm doing a show now. Someone had to drop out of a scene that my sister was directing for a class, so she asked me if I could do it. And I am. I'm just not sure if I'm happy about it.

On a different note, I GOT A CELL PHONE! Except it's a Tracphone, so don't call it unless you really need to get a hold of me and can't get me at home. I'm cheap and don't want to spend the money. The number is 910-3285 so everyone program it into your cells. I've probably already got yours in there. Though now that I think about it, I wonder why I plugged in the Whittakers number. They're going to be changing it like, tomorrow anyway. Sad.

I feel rather productive about my day. I applied at three or four places (if anyone knows ANYWHERE I can get a job, do tell...please...) activated my phone, chopped off my hair, ordered a debit card, went to Institute, and am now working on my paper. Not bad for being up a little over 12 hours.

So here I sit...having ordered the printer to print off a copy of the Starbucks application. Unfortunately, it seems that being productive gives me a headache.

You wanna know something weird? I've spent most of my free days of summer with Raage and it doesn't bother me. In fact, I like it and I want to do it more. That's odd to me. It usually bugs me to be around the same people for more than a few hours at a time...especially when it's day after day after day. But this makes me happy. Which reminds me, for some odd reason, that I need to talk to Mollie and Beckah about Friday. And Saturday for that matter. We should probably figure out how and if we're driving down on Saturday and also when we're going over to Union on Friday.

So far summer has been great. Once I finish this stupid paper, it'll be even better. I'll probably do that tomorrow afternoon.

I think I got over most of my graduation anxiety the week before graduation. Or at least a few days before. The actual ceremony was insanely fun, what with me sitting by Beckah. We must remember never to sit together again during a semi-formal ceremony. Though the singing diploma holders were quite entertaining. Except my parents left me at the High School to find my own ride home. Unfortunately, I had amigrane at the beginning of the all-night party.

Speaking of migrane, I think I have one now. Which means it's probably a bad idea to be sitting here looking at a computer screen.

Alright, it's finished printing. Now I need to talk to my dad about registering for classes so I can figure out what hours I can work.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Pickle Pringles! Pickle Pringles!

Wow...last night might actually have been better than I imagined it would be. But seriously, man oh man, words don't describe the intense ab-workout I got last night...it was awesome.

Yesterday at school was interesting. Raage turned and looked at me with this smile that said "isn't this exciting?" at the end of Calculus and reached out his hand so I would take it. I didn't. I couldn't. If it had been anyone else, I probably could've forced myself to pretend I was happy and go along with it, but not him. And it wasn't so much that I wasn't happy. Words can't describe how happy I am that I never have to take another math class in my life. It's just that graduation means everyone's one step closer to leaving...especially him. There's not going to be any more getting together during lunch and walking around the school talking, no more deciding to skip class to play in the rain, no more buying cookies from Suzy, no more me being blamed for every disturbance in class that might have something to do with me, no more randomly deciding to do something later that night, no more chinese or doing homework out in the field. I just couldn't legitimately be happy about it. When people were running through the halls screaming, I felt like crying.

And then singing with Mollie last night. It was amazing. I can still remember her as the tall girl with glasses and a gap in her teeth singing along with Charlotte Church. But I looked at her last night and saw a beautiful, mature, talented young woman.

You know, it's good to be alive right now. I'm looking outside, and the rain has just stopped and the sun's starting to set and it's making everything look sort of orange and gorgeous. And the clouds are amazing. I really wish I had a camera right now so I could take pictures and post them. The shadows are amazing. It makes everything look so...dimensional?

I really want Raage to teach me to speak Spanish this summer. Actually, I just want to learn to speak some other langugage. I might try my dad with French. I mean, what's the point of having a dad that speaks it fluently if you're not going to learn, eh?

And I just deleted two or three large paragraphs that consisted mainly of me talking about my fear of change. But now that I'm listening to some girlie pop music (weird...especially since I just admitted it...) and I feel a bit better. Actually, I feel a lot better. Enough to go home and shower and maybe read. And who knows, maybe I'll get the urge to experiment with brownies ;) So when you guys meet at my house tonight to go watch X-Men 3 and there are twenty different kinds of brownies around, don't worry, I'm not pregnant.

So, what's the point of this post? I don't know. I just think I needed someone to talk to. Sad that I turn to a computer, huh? Meh, whatever. The other point is, I'm so grateful for my friends. Darcy, Beckah, Jeff, Raage, Mollie, and so many others. Honestly, this year would have completely sucked without you. Now, granted, leaving High School now sucks because of you guys, but it's the good kind of suckage. The suckage that means I may have to wear waterproof mascara at Graduation. Even though I would prefer not to cry. Tears would obstruct my view of Cale, and that would be a horrible travesty.

Anyway, some final wishes. Meghan, Raage, Kathy, all of you, do well at State! Course, I don't know why I'm writing this now, you all left this morning. Anyway, good luck! The rest of you, I'll probably see you tonight, hopefully. Much love!

Toodles!

-Jillian

It hit my hanging thingy!

Ah, that day was completely beautiful. I can only think of two or three things that would have made that entire experiance perfect.

So right now I'm at the EOU library and I'm supposed to be doing research on diseases of the pituitary gland. Sounds easy, right? It's not!!! Do you know how many sites there are on diseases of the pituitary gland? Yeah, not that many. At least not that many that are helpful. Unfortunately, this is not helping my stress level, as my computer is broken and I only have limited time do research. So why am I blogging? Because I haven't done it in a week and I'm feeling the need.

Endocrine:

n Any of various glands producing hormonal secretions that pass directly into the bloodstream. The endocrine glands include the thyroid, parathyroids, anterior and posterior pituitary, pancreas, adrenals, pineal, and gonads. Also called ductless gland.

There you go, there's the research that I've done today. The pituitary gland is part of the network of Endocrine glands that supply all the hormones that keep the human body working.

Good for me.

School gets out in two and a half days. AAAAAAAAH!! FREAKY!!!!

Again, I'm sort of torn in half about this. Half of me is really excited and half of me is so scared I'm about to wet myself. Though not scared really. More afraid of missing people. Yesterday was a trip. It was the last time I'd ever go to La Grande 2nd ward except for visiting. Though Sis Pettit said I still had to come sing in the choir (totally fine with that, Pettit treats...mmm...). It also hit home how soon Beckah was leaving. Wednesday is going to be an interesting night, I can tell you that. We'll be insanely hyper, start laughing and then just bawl. While playing with fire of course.

Man I love my friends. Playing in the rain of Friday really made me realize how happy I am with my friends and how much I don't want them to leave me. I mean really, how lucky can one girl get? My friends are amazing, and that's all there is to it.

I basically just want to spend the last remaining days (wow...sounds like I'm dying...) hanging out with my friends and doing a minimal amount of work. Unforuntately, it doesn't look like that's going to be possibe...stupid 10 page research paper! I hope all of you are going to the awards ceremony tonight so we can hang out there. Wow...this is sad...I'm looking for every possible opportunity to hang out with you guys. Though actually, I guess it's not that sad really. Sort of wonderful.

So, to Beckah and eventually to Darcy and Raage and all my other friends that are leaving, here's this:

If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
We may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
(We) may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up, give it all away I'd give it up for just one more day with you

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
We may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
We may be leaving but you're always in my heart

- Yellowcard, "Miles Apart"

Did I say that outloud? My bad...

So, life lesson learned today. Don't fry bacon without any clothes on. Don't ask how I know this. Just trust me, it will hurt.

Ah, the memories that I'm going to be taking away from this year! There are so many! Mostly good ones actually. Like, quite heavy on the good side.

Actually, I was really thinking about it today. I have been so blessed. I mean, yeah, I have crappy days and things aren't perfect, but really? I have it pretty good. I have amazing friends and each day I'm learning and growing. It's funny, for the past few years it seems like I go in this cycle. I'll have such a crappy stretch of time where I'll turn to Heavenly Father for help. Then he'll help and everything will be beautiful. Then, sometime during the beautiful stage, I'll be like "wow, I have an amazing life. Cool beans." And the next day something REALLY bad would happen that would start the cycle all over again. I think it was Heavenly Father's way of going "are you going to thank me for having a good life? No? Okay, let's start again..." I think I've become a little better at giving thanks, though I know I'm no where as good as I should be, because I've been going on a "good stretch" for ...probably three or four months. Since my birthday, at least. Again, I have a few days that are bad, but I haven't fallen into any of the depressions that lasted more than a few days in a long while.

I have an amazing life. I'm so grateful for warm nights that make me feel alive. I'm glad I'm able to go to EOU and hang out with Mollie Pants and Jeffrey Jacket and that I was able to hang out with Beckah. I'm glad I have the entire summer to hang out with Raage and that I'm able to have such an amazing friend. I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve it. My sister is coming home in 24 DAYS!!!!! And speaking of, I have a cool family too.

I'm conveinantly forgetting to add that I have a Bio Final tomorrow and that I might have possibly bombed another Calculus test today, not to mention that I still have to do dishes and I've only recieved 10 hours of sleep the past two days. Because really, those things are all my fault for procrastination and such. Except for the sleep thing. Jennifer called 6:30 Sunday morning. Oh, and weird fact. Raage knew when she would call before I did. What's up with that? Actually, it's because my mom saw his mom and they chatted. I can't help but feel that's a bad thing, my mom and his mom chatting. At least for a little while while embarrassing information could be exchanged. Oh, and one more bad fact. I ripped the bumper off of an old woman's car. Yup, I'm amazing. So now I can't get married for three years, unless I want to triple my insurance payment. Ha, I guess we'll see how much I'm worth to the guy, eh?

Okay, enough procrastinating. I did a little studying during Urinetown rehersal (note, little) but I should probably get a little more done so I can fail the test with a halfway decent grade.

I love you all!

Toodles!

-Jillian

The Canine Conga: behind the world of doggie dancing

Today's been an interesting day. When I figured I'd skip last night, I didn't think of the implications. In other words, I fogot that whenever I skip I get this weird icky feeling that I'm a horrible person adn I've done something wrong or that I've missed out on something. And it didn't help much that I didn't feel all that much better for the extra sleep I got.

So, so far today - all 5 hours that I've been awake for - have been pretty crappy. I went and made-up an Econ test in Modern Problems that I missed, oh, about two months ago, so you can imagine the score that I'll get on that. It shouldn't be that bad though, because I only need a few points of it to raise my grade.

Oh, and funny story. After Calculus I realize that I haven't seen my key for a long time. So I look through my pockets, through the hoodie I'd worn to school, on the bottom of the locker, on the ground around me. Nope, no key tied to a bright yellow key chain. So I look in the Calculus room, the bio room, in the library, in the hallways. Nope. I ask Mr. Wright if any one had seen it. Nope. I ask the office if anyone had turned it in. Nope. So I resign myself to walking home with my ginormously huge backpack that is carrying everything I use at school (two text books, five notebooks, other miscellaneous garbage) to get my other key and drop off my stuff, then go back to the school and get my car. But then, lo and behold, I'm out by the tennis courts, and I realize I never took my key out of my car. All that stress and freaking out over nothing.

That's sort of the story of my life though.

Random fact: Did you know I still confuse my y's and my u's? It's going to suck if I go to BYU-I. I'll end up writing it BUY-I, because I'm a loser like that.

Speaking of college. Wow. I think it barely hit me today that it's really ending. College is beginning and High School, and everything that is familiar about it, is ending. I've got mixed feelings about it. I'm looking back over the past few years - this past year especially - and am wishing I'd done a lot of things or that I hadn't done other things. Everything since the end of the musical has gone by so quickly. Even before that things seemed to be zipping by. I've missed friends that I haven't hung out with for a while and ones that I've sort of let slip away. And of course, those that I've under-appreciated. There are only two weeks left. It just feels strange that it's really ending. Normally, when the school year ended you'd have next year to look forward to seeing the people you missed during the summer. Now that won't happen. It's a disconcerting realization. I still don't know if I'm going to go to the all-night party though. I probably won't go on the Senior trip, instead I'll might spend the day hanging out with Mollie and Beckah and Katelyn, because they're not going either. Now, because that last paragraph seemed a bit heavy, I'll make a list:

Things that make Jillian insanely happy:
1) Hanging out with friends
2) Looking at pictures of friends
3) Remembering good times with friends
4) Not worrying about having to do something
5) Taking leisurely walks with friends
6) Night time
7) Looking at the clear night sky on my roof...alone, but especially with friends
8) Good choral music...especially Eric Whitacre, and especially Sleep, which I am currently listening to
9) Laughing at something good and clean, usually stupid jokes deriving from candy wrappers or other random things
10) Knowing you're doing something right
11) Watching the sun rise
12) Seeing happy people
13) Good hugs
14) Chocolate
15) Knowing that you're loved
16) Seeing the people you care about succeed
17) Good talks with friends...or strangers...or family...really, good talks with anybody
18) Reading my scriptures
19) Knowing that no matter how many people dislike you and are rooting for you to fail, there's always at least one person that wants me to succeed and overcome all
20) Knowing that Heavenly Father and Christ love you and that they're there to help you if you'll only let them (refer to #19)


So that's my top 20 list right now, in no particular order as numbers 20, 19, & 18 are a bit more important than chocolate.


*sigh* I feel much better now. Time to go tackle some homework. I love you all! If I become overly sentimental the next few weeks, just humor me. Hope you're all having an awesome week.

Toodles!

-Jillian

p.s. JENNIFER COMES HOME IN 29 DAYS!!!!!

Darcy, the bathroom is heaven to me!

So I just got away from a situation where I was around people 24/7 and I come home to a place where no one is.

I feel like going insane, and not in a good way. Like, postman insane.

I need to do something, to go somewhere, to get out of the house. OHMIGOSH! I WANNA GO ON A WALK! A really slow one since my breathing isn't happy right now, but that sounds pleasant.

You know, I would really like to be able to breathe out of both my nostrils. I usually have one mostly if not all clear, but then the other one is always plugged tight. And by tight I mean tight like unto a dish. And it's giving me a massive sinus headache.

And I'm complaining again. But you know, I feel like crap. I would say I smell like crap too, but because of the whole nostril-thing, I wouldn't be able to tell if I smelled or not.

We got second by the way. Of course, anyone that reads my blog is going to know that we got second because they were there anyway, but I thought I'd throw that little bit of information in there. The trip was fun, except I was cranky half the time because of the mucus infesting my brain. And you want to know something sad? I almost used music instead of mucus. Switch around a few letters and there you go. Music=mucus.

And I'm rambling again. It's seems like I never have anything of interest to say anymore. I just sort of force conversation and say what I expect people for me to say. And that came out wrong too. But it wasn't as cool as "Remember Ms. Butts, you're pantsing with me on the bus!"

Whatever pantsing is, it sounds quite exciting.

Toodles

-Jillian