Sunday, January 08, 2006

Would you shut up? I’m trying to talk to myself here!

It's it too early to start a countdown for Spring Break? It's not so much that I want to get away from school - which I do, but what else is new? - but I want to do the road-trip thing! I talked to Nick about it briefly last night and I think we may actually do it, which will be incredibly awesome.

So right now I'm taking a break from my Bio homework. My head is swimming with thoughts of DNA and RNA and Fraenkel-Conrat and Watson and Crick and a bunch of other people who had something to do with discovering DNA. And thoughts of other things that I seem to be getting off on more and more. Which is why I've decided to sit here and write them down for a little bit.

Life is strange. Sometimes I feel like I'm in that one car commercial where the car drives by and everything changes around it. I feel like I'm the car, everything changing as I go by, but I stay the same. Things happen to those around me and those I'm friends with and all I can do is keep driving by. Then there are sometimes when I feel like life is passing me by. It's the whole "Best Two Years" Syndrome when Elder Rodgers is standing in the middle of the crowd and they all run past him about their lives without noticing him. And of course there are those times when everything just seems to be perfect, like a walk in the country when the sun is setting is just setting during the summer.

It's funny. I'm reading a book now that's too complicated to explain even in a reader digest version, but there's this one part in it that made me think about the drama's of high school. In a country called Cairhien they play this game called Daes Dae'mar and it's basically a political chess game. Who talks to who and what is said and who spends time with who and what they do is monitored and from that you tell alliances and the whole "my friends enemy is my enemy" thing applies and I read it and was like "ohmigosh! This is High School!" And I started laughing. It was a semi-malicious laugh of course, but still a laugh.

I don't like playing this game much. It gets too confusing. I figure I'll talk to who I want to, be nice to who I want to - which is basically everyone - and just do what I want. Unfortunately, I can't expect people to take this too well. There are people who I hang out with who seem to be so caught up in everything that they're determined to make my life miserable. I'll admit they succeed sometimes. Alright, a majority of the time. Luckily I still have people who don't get so caught up in that stuff that can make me feel better and realize what's really important.

Thank Heaven for those people.

I suppose since there's opposition in all things it only makes sense that there are those people who try and bring you down. You know what I don't like? I don't like people that have issues with you that they try and hide. It's funny, because I can usually tell when someone has an issue with me, and I think it's funny how they get so frustrated trying to be nice to my face and then explode when they're alone because they have this problem with me. I would personally rather talk to a person I have an issue with than put myself through that emotional wring-dryer of pretending to be fine. That's so last year. *rolls eyes* Ha...ha...okay, I'm laughing at myself here, and I'm sure I'm the only one because sarcasm doesn't transfer well in writing, and neither does the prissy girl voice that I heard that typed with in my head.

And I sound like I'm insane, so I'm shutting up.

Alright, I'm going to go finish up my homework. And I should probably come up with an idea for the whole Angela's Ashes essay.

Toodles!

-Jillian

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you know that someone has a problem with you then why don't you confront them yourself. Also did you ever think that people put on faces so that their friends they care about don't get in a middle of an issue that really never was?

Just me said...

well, if the issue never really was, then obviously the friends can't "get in the middle of it". And as for the confronthing thing, if I don't have a problem with the person, but they have a problem with me, I don't want to approach them until they're ready. As I won't be able to know when that is I have to wait for them to come to me.
-Jillian

Liz said...

Ah high school. Unfortunately, as far as theatre people go, the whole analyzing-everything-that-everyone-says-and-does thing lives on after high school. It's just not so drastic, and can be easily ignored, and it's actually possible to be friends with EVERYONE. It's just human nature. Unfortunately, human nature is just coming into itself during high school and can have some gritty outcomes.

Just me said...

it's true. gritty outcomes like people getting their heads chopped after after they've been drawn and quartered and having certain body parts set on spikes around the county to symbolize what happens to rebels. Or that could just be the irish rebellion lead by Wallace...hm...I always get high school and that mixed up.
-Jillian
p.s. yeah, i know about the whole theatre-people analyzing thing. I think it's because we're constantly on the lookout for things that might possibly drive our next character. And my parents wonder why I don't want to be a theatre major...

isha said...

heheheheheheh...that made me laugh..