My Own Personal PostSecret

(Fact: I stole this from the PostSecret website)

Here's the deal. I saw this today and it resonated with me. My life is a little screwed up right now. And by that I mean more so than normal. I've felt myself overcompensating in my life for the last few years both spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and in certain ways, physically. I'm still not sure what to make of that, whether it's a good or bad thing, something I should keep up, or something I need to quit entirely. Yet the fact remains I am making choices that would probably count as me "screwing up" pretty hard in "other areas of my life." I appear to be a fairly well put together human being/contributing member of society on the surface - good job, good social life, good future prospects. But what a lot of people may not be aware of is I'm also making some "bad choices," and these "bad choices" may not just be a "phase" that apparently "everyone goes through" and eventually grows out of. I mean, it might be something I leave behind, but it's also just as likely something that I stop compensating for and learn to accept and fully incorporate into my life instead. 

I, personally, have mixed feelings about these choices. One thing I do know though is that when I actually stop to think about it, I don't actually feel bad enough about them to stop or even apologize for them, nor do I have the emotional energy to do so right now. However, I do know that I am not harming anyone and it's yet to be seen that I'm actually harming myself in any lasting way.

But I am also fully aware that I'm not entirely sure how God feels about these choices. I know he loves me, regardless of whether my choices are good, bad, or compensating. But as far as he accepts and understands them as something necessary for my future progression or is just waiting for them to pass with patience? We'll see as time progresses, I suppose.