Ostracization!!!

I know ostracization is not a word. It should be though. I'm now officially declaring it to be a word. So there.

I just came back from the dance. It was weird. The whole past few days have been weird, and I would like to officially apologize to those I've been hanging out with. I don't know why, but I've been completely lethargic and lackadasical the past few days. I've just been feeling really mellow and not hyper. I could just zone for a majority of time, and sometimes when there are a bunch of loud, hyper people around me I get really irritated. I'm not sure what's up exactly, but it's driving me crazy. Like, my ideal would be to sit somewhere with someone and just have a mellow but thought-provoking conversation. We wouldn't have to talk all the time, but it wouldn't be awkward silence. And trust me, wanting this is kind of weird for me. Usually I'm the kind of person that's very "let's have a huge party and get no sleep and run around and do stupid things and have twenty people around and I'll be the center of all the attention!" Not so much right now. I wish I knew how to fix it, or at least be able to snap out of it during certain times. Because I felt so bad at the dance tonight. There were so many times when I could have done things or said things that would have made the night better, but I just didn't care enough or have the energy to do it.

Maybe I just need food.

I really wanna sleep right now. Tomorrow's my birthday. Yeah. Basically that's it. I'll be 18. Can buy things I couldn't before. Whoopie. Though I guess I can't, because Sam hasn't given me money yet. I want to speak Spanish. I want to play guitar. I want to learn everything. I must know everyone, and everything about certain people.

I'm going to eat food and go to sleep.

Toodles

-Jillian