It's called friendship...it's like therapy for poor people.

Hello again Mi Frijolos! And yeah, for all that speak Spanish, I know that makes zero sense. It's a fun inside joke thingy from the...what, ninth grade is it Mollie? Those were good times. Anyway, thinking about the ninth grade has pushed me on another "Jimmy Eat World" fettish...ha...Tamson..."I have a fettish, with girls...who brush their teeth." That has to be one of those "you have to be there things", along with the thing about Ms. Looney. "Yeah, there's more Tamson where that comes from." Aaaaah, sometimes rehersal isn't all that bad...namely when you're hiding behind stage. Those are the good times.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog thing. It's kind of to let off some strange emotions I've been feeling lately. Not so much emotions really, just thoughts. I've been in a peculiarly thoughtful mood lately. Pensive. It's a good word to describe it. It's not like the mood has been bad. It's just be interesting. It's forced me to look at some things that I've done and things that've happened to me, even way back when I was six or seven. It's like I'm finally learning from the experiances I've had.

Anyway, off that tangent and onto what I was actually going to write and say. Here's what it is: It's like I'm caught in this invisible tug-of-war with my friends lately. As Jeff and I discussed in a conversation one night, it's like you fit in more than one group or clique, but don't really belong in any or either. It's a strange feeling. It's interesting though. It's especially interesting now that my parents are asking what I want to do for a birthday party. I have so many groups of friends that would mix about as well as oil and water. But at the same time I can't just be like "Um, I pick you and you and you, but not you" and leave out some people. That would make me really sad inside because I hate it when people do that to others.

Any one have any suggestions? Basically, my idea is to have some random type of get-together after the basketball game - probably going to Denny's and getting hot cocoa, because I haven't done that for a really long time with a group of friends and I'm feeling that need - and then some girls spending the night. And then the dance on Saturday of course, which makes me super excited - even if it is a Valentines Day Dance.

I just want a happy, semi-calm but still fun group to come together and have fun. No wrestling this time. Which is weird, coming from me, I know. Oh well. Any ideas? Any? At all? Please?

Anyway, I think I enjoy having lyrics on my blog, so here's the one for today. It's "My Sundown" from Jimmy Eat World (see above in blog). Some of the lyrics are taken out because it's repetitive, but I think it's a cool song.

I see it around me, I see it in everything.

I could be so much more than this.

I said my goodbye's

this is my sundown.

I'm gonna be so much more than this.

With one hand high,

you'll show them your progress.

You'll take your time,

but no one cares.

No one cares.

I need you to show me the way from crazy.

I wanna be so much more than this.

Icould be so much more than this.

No one cares.

I wanna be so much more than this.

So I think I'm going to go practice guitar now. Guitar makes me happy. :-D

Toodles!

-Jillian