Says Kyle with the mint julep face mask on "I AM THE MASK!"

Big River is finally over! Not that I'm not glad or anything (weird, double-negative...) I'm going to miss it a bit - though watching Tristan's abnormally long toes curl over the platform isn't going to be one of the things I miss (Lauren, that was just for you (-;), but it will be nice to have some free time again.

OH! I think Raage did well at State! Cuz when me and Bern drove by the high school after lunch today his car had a bunch of "congratulations!" banners on them, so I'm hoping he took first in one of his events.

And I'm sitting here typing with Mint Julep mask on my face. Hold on, going to wash it off.

*washing*

okay, so I didn't just wash, I got totally ready for bed.

You know, life is really weird. Actually, to be more specific, people are. And I'm going all analytical again, but seriously. I find it fascinating how everyone is totally different but we all have traits that are the same. I am yet to meet one person who is ABSOLUTLY different from me. Everyone has at least one quirk that's like mine. Likewise no one is exactly like me. Which is a really good thing because as Bern says "One Jillian is enough". But if you actually think about it, it makes relationships really interesting. Well, not interesting like "interesting things happening" but interesting as in "it's interesting how relationships come together." And I know I'm making no sense but this honestly fascinates me. Humans and their reactions and actions to other's amaze me. You could get two people who watch one person do something and those two people could come away with different opinions of what that person really did. Interpratation is so important in communication. So many things go into how people interpret things, like background, upbringing, personalities, past experiances, and a bunch of other things. It's amazing we can function together at all.

Another thing about life that's intersting is this. We're all going through the same thing now, whether we'll admit it or not. I don't know if it happened like a domino effect, like one person started the process and told someone else about it who was like "yeah, that makes sense" so it happened to that person next and the process started again. I personally don't think it happened that way, I think it was more something that came about with the whole "maturing into adults" thing.

But they don't teach you THIS about growing up in Health Class.

We're all searching for something or someone. We're feeling unfulfilled in our normal High School relationships. And we also feel guilty that we feel unfulfilled, but we shouldn't, because we're all unfulfilled together. We want more mature friendships and to just be content with being ourselves. But at the same time our whole emotional spectrum is changing as we grow. I've already explained this horribly to Maegan and I doubt it'll make any sense over the net so I won't try. I'll just say that as we're getting older we're feeling more emotions more intensly than we did before. That's where the whole "I should be happy right now but I'm not" and the "why am I feel 25 different emotions at once?" thing comes in. Think of it as emotional puberty.

Now granted, this is just my thesis on things. I really want to hear other's opinions on it and not just comments like "you overanalyze too much" because I know I do, it helps me pass the time and figure some things out in the process. I really do want to hear what you guys think about this. Maybe I should be a psychiatrist when I grow up or something. Or a socialogist because people fascinate me.

But what I really want to be - and I just figured this out like, two days ago - is a religions archiologist or something like that. Like, for my dream job, if I could be anything in the whole wide world? I'd so be that. To go visit places of religious significance and read dead sea scrolls and things like that. Ohmigosh, I melt just thinking about it. It combines my two favorite things in the whole wide world - religion and history. Well, not my TWO favorite things. Two of my favorite things. You have to have music and theatre in there too. But I know that there's no way I could ever do that. I would have to travel too much and I'm not even sure a job like that exists. But oh, if it did I'd be like "SIGN ME UP, BABY!"

Anyway I should probably be getting to bed. I'm waking up in less than six hours!

-Jillian

p.s. dude, I so bought a coloring book today and it was soooo awesome to be able to color in it! Simple mind, simple pleasures! It's a monster coloring book with really simple big pictures. And a few connect the dots and stuff like that of course. But I've decided when I move out and I'm going to be too broke to buy art I'll just buy a coloring book, color some pictures, and hang them up all over my walls. How cool would that be?

Quote for the day: (in honor of Big River coming to a close)
Did the moring come to early?
Was the night not long enough?
Does a tear of hestitation fall on everything we touch?

People reach new understandings all the time
They take a second look, maybe change their minds
People reach new understanding's every day
Tell me not to reach, and I'll go away

Well it might just be a lesson
for the hasty heart to know
Maybe leaving's not the only way to go