Her hair glistened like nose hair after a sneeze...

So, school's already starting to get to me. I can't help it, and I have no idea why. I just wish I could be sequesterd somewhere where there was no school and there were no people. I thought I was over this stupid stage but I guess I'm getting aftershocks of it. I guess I'll have to deal with them and hopefully it'll be over soon with as few casualties as possible.

Wow, I re-read that and it made it sounds like I was turning into the Hulk or something. Which isn't too far off. I'm realizing some of the major flaws that I have and it's really hard to deal with them. I've never had to change certain things so ingrained my behavior before. It's a little rough. Like the fact that when I get frustrated I take it out on whatever's there, whether I'm angry with myself, someone else, or something as stupid as my shoe, I start to boil. Then if someone does anything to bug me I immediatly bristle and usually strike at the person I least want to and the person who deserves it the least. For some reason lately it's usually the one person who I regret biting at most. That makes it doubly hard because the wave of anger passes almost as soon as I realize what's going on, but by then I've already done the damage so I'm left sputtering apologies and looking stupid. Which isn't something new for me of course. The looking stupid bit at least. I tend to do that a lot.

I don't know what's bringing on this depressing mood. It might be the fact that in both non-fiction writing and A.P. comp we've been discussing some incredibly depressing topics. Well, not really discussing them, more like reading things that tend to be really sad. Though that doesn't explain all of it away.

And here's an interesting question. How come the only people I strike at are the ones close to me? Huh? Am I just demented? I suppose I am. I guess we all are in our own ways.

And wow, this blog turned out to be a lot deeper than I thought it would be. I meant to type about how the first few days of school had been, how I'm actually enjoying A.P. Bio half the time and how Seminary is awesome, as always. I'm so glad we have it tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to get going on the stuff I have to do tonight. I need to shower, find my stuff for tomorrow (BLUE AND WHITE DAY! YAY), and finish up my Bio. I don't know if we'll have the study group. 1-Megan hasn't called and 2-I really don't feel like being social.

Apparently my parents are home, but I have no idea where they are. There bags are here and so are some groceries from Safeway, but the parents? The car? Nope.

Hm, maybe I'll go sorting through the groceries to see if there's any chocolate. If there is, I'll eat that, study scriptures, and be all right in the morning. It's the perfect medicine for happiness!

Toodles!

-Jillian