Monteverde - otherwise known as 'when travel plans go awry' or 'dies minutos my ass!'

Here's the sitch folks. We took our first excursion this last weekend and It. Was. A. Blast. We ended up choosing Monteverde - an area known for it's greenery and cloudforest - because my roommate Nick wanted to go there before his life got sucked into his TEOFL course and we heard there was wonderful zip-lining there. However, Nick ended up ducking out at the last minute leaving me, Stanley, and Stanley's friend Jackie from the construction site sitting on a hot bus for 4 and a half hours on our way to the green getaway. The bus trip only cost $5 (I love public transportation here!) and I read The Kite Runner and listened to podcasts (thanks Stanley) the entire way, until we realized we were almost there and should 1) figure out what hostel we were going to stay at and 2) figure out what there was to do in Monteverde. So the travel guides came out (LonelyPlanet and Foder's Costa Rica editions) and we begin looking.

However, all of this proved to be pointless as the minute we stepped off the bus a man named Bryan approached us and said he had one room left at his hostel and we could have it for $6 per person per night. This included computer access, breakfast, a shared bathroom, hammocks, and a private room with 3 beds. He invited us to come and look at it and honestly, for $6 it was wonderful. The rooms were clean, the beds were standing, and the door had a lock. Plus the hammocks were just as wonderful as promised. Bryan was also wonderful as he was able to set us up with things to do in Monteverde, telling us that going to the waterfall would be silly as it got cold there (it did) and getting us a deal on zip-lining and getting into the park, as well as arranging transportation to and from the activities.

He also told us of this wonderful place to have dinner called Rico y Ticos, which served big portions for little dinero. After hitting that up and ordering a fabulous dinner of fajitas (I know, my first time eating out and I choose fajitas...) Then we decided to hit up the grocery store so we could save some dough and pack in our lunches to the park. PB and J all the way. That ended up being $3 a person - for two lunches!! With that, we went to bed, excited to wake up at 7:00 the next morning and go hiking through the cloudforest.

After a quick shower, a breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with pineapple marmalade, and putting together 3 peanut butter and guava marmalade sandwiches, we found ourselves chilling on the porch in the hammocks, reading books, and waiting for our shuttle to come and take us to the cloud forest.

This is a Stanley-Tamale.

So many hammocks! And they were really difficult to get in and out of, but so worth it when you managed to settle in with a good book

Dogs. They're EVERYWHERE. Seriously though, you know it's going to be a good, quality establishment if there's a dog (or two) sitting out front.

The trip up a windy, bumpy, dirt road in a packed van brought us to a little stand where we showed the receipt Bryan had given us, showing we paid to get into the park, we signed the guest book, and went in.

The clouds coming in over the mountains. Monteverde is a cloud forest, meaning that, unlike a rain forest, it doesn't rain horribly often, but rather the humidity and the cloud-like fog that hangs in the forest every afternoon keeps the ground and trees fertile and moist. The area is so fertile, in fact, that if you cut down a tree it will continue to grow.

This is what we were hiking through. I feel like if we had a machete and those awesome safari vests we could pretend we were in an Indiana Jones movie.

Needless to say, there were a lot of creepy-crawlies here. This is what we believe to be a millipede. They were everywhere!

The place was gorgeous, though a little more devoid of wildlife than we had hoped for. However, the foliage and conversation made up for it as we tried to figure out how to work our cameras and properly capture the beauty that surrounded us.

We came to a clearing just in time to catch a huge cloud moving over the mountain

This is what we were walking over the entire time. Even by looking at this it's obvious how fertile the area was.

This tree was huge. I was trying to figure out how to show just how tall this was, but wasn't able to capture it. The shot was take from the base of the tree looking upward.

It was so hot and muggy in the forest! When we first set out I was concerned about getting cold, but that was quickly dispelled as we began climbing. While the air might have been cooler and more damp, we were working up a sweat as we hiked through the high altitude.

Not sure what this is, but it was awesome.

We crossed 3 different rivers, with one of the bridges called "peligroso" or "dangerous!"

Classic hiking through the forest shoe-shot. Notice the various types of footwear. It's because we're awesome.

The entire path really was hiking. Even when we were heading down the stair and steps were huge.

Cloud-forest birds-nest

We found all these leaves that had tiny little holes in them. It turns out there were tons and tons of little bugs just eating their way through.

While the bugs were big the plants were even bigger!

After spending 3 hours in the forest we decided to come back to civilization (well, as civilized as Monteverde was...it was a rather small, but delightful town) and explore the town itself. We had heard about an artisan co-op where a large group of local artists came together to sell their goods, as well as a cheese factory that had delightful cheese and ice cream. We decided to stop at the hostel and see exactly how far away these places were. After the nice man told us not to waste our time or money on a cab as we could easily walk there - it was only 2 kilometers, or roughly a mile and a half - we set out. What the nice man at the hostel didn't tell us was that the entire walk was uphill. Seriously. After hiking for 3 hours our bodies were a little sore. But we persevered! Plus, we saw some beautiful flowers along the way.

Note: I am not sunburnt. I just have awkward tan lines.

This is our spirit guide, whom we decided to name Spot. He followed us from the top of the first hill all the way to the cheese factory and the co-op, eventually disappearing into the mist. Totally serious. :)

On our walk we also saw some awesome little shops. It was like the Costa Rican equivalent of Park City - large resorts and hotels on the top of the hills. We also saw a cute little art store where we stopped to make sure we were walking the right way. The man there assured us we were, telling us we only had dies minutos to go...

...25 minutes and 2 hills later Jackie turns to Stanley and I and says "dies minutos my ass!!" While Costa Ricans are incredibly helpful and kind, they sometimes give misinformation without meaning to. They would rather do that than be unhelpful.

We finally made it to the cheese factory and had some delicious ice cream!

By the time we started back, the fog had settled in for the evening, making everything from our clothes to our beds damp...

Another thing we noticed while traipsing through town were the large amounts of pizzarias. As true, pizza loving Americans we took this as a sign as needing to have pizza for dinner. So we went to a place we thought served pizza - it didn't. So after buying our food there (which ended up being about $6 per person) we decided we needed a pizza chaser and ordered a 12 inch cheese pizza from a place called El Dorado.

Jackie and the pizza. And Stanley's foot.

Jackie and I had gone to get the pizza (it was just down the hill from our hostel) and while we were there we saw something strange. The man left the main room, walked down the stairs, and came back with a little baggy filled with some white powder and put it in our box. We took the box back to the hostel and promptly decided that while it was obviously parmesean cheese, we were going to pretend there was cocaine in there as well. So laughing and discussing about how the evening would go now that we'd all ingested cocaine, we demolished the pizza in 20 minutes.

Don't judge. We had done a lot of walking that day.

So after the pizza had gone the way of the world, we settled in for the night. I finished The Kite Runner (amazing book, by the way) and fell asleep, excited for zip-lining the next day.

We awoke and started getting the room together as we would have about a half hour from the time we got back from zip-lining to when we needed to head into town to catch the bus.

Our room, small and incredibly functional.

But, before we went zip-lining we decided we should probably go and buy our tickets for the return ride back to San Jose. As we walk down into town there are a bunch of people in running attire and numbers getting ready to run some race. Also, as we approach the main block in town, we see this:

Little "murals" made from natural objects like flower and wood bark, made to depict religious things like crosses, angels, doves, etc.

We're still not sure what was so special about that Sunday, but it was beautiful!

Unfortunately, the runners and the special church things that were happening all ended before 2:30, meaning all those people were wanting to catching the San Jose bus and had bought their tickets before us. So the man at the bus-stop told us we could take a 3 o'clock bus to Puntarenas which was only an hour out of the way, but they had buses leaving to San Jose every 20 minutes or so. We decided to do that, bought our tickets, and headed back to the hostel to get ready for the one thing I had been looking forward to the most in my trip to Costa Rica - zip-lining!

For those who know me, you know I'm afraid of heights. I can usually conquer this fear by convincing myself that everything will be safe and I will not die. This experience tested that resolve for me.

Everything was great, but on the first line I stopped before I got all the way there. The people told me I must have been braking, pulling down on the line and killing my momentum. I hadn't thought I was doing that, but after the guy pulled me to the next platform, the next line went well. However, the real problem came in the next line. It was a huge line, usually taking 45 seconds to get all the way across, and they doubled me up with Stanley as we needed extra weight to get to the next platform.

But, once again, something happened with my pulley - it jumped the line, meaning the friction was stopping us from making it all the way to the end. The zip-line guy came to pull Stanley and I the significant distance to the platform and realizes he can't do it because I'm pretty much stuck. So - I'm not sure what he was trying to do - he kept having me try to pull up on the wire, all the while trying to unhook my caribeaner from the pulley, essentially unattaching me from the zip-line.

You have to understand, at this point I'm dangling probably 100 yards above the canopy top, over a canopy, with a guy trying to unattach me from the wire. It was all I could do to not completely freak out. Eventually another employee came and helped us, attaching me to another pulley and we somehow managed to make it back to the platform.

I was pretty shaken after this and my arms were exhausted. You can only pull up on the line so many times without realizing how futile it seemed and killing your arms. But we still had most of the zip-lines, the Tarzan swing, and the Superman to go, so they fixed my pulley and on we trudged.

While we thought we had hiked a lot the day before, it was nothing compared to this! We essentially hiked up an entire mountain, wearing harnesses over our hips and our chests and carrying around various metal accouterments. It was completely worth it though! The Tarzan swing was wonderful. I was the first one to go, so no one knew what to expect. The employee attaches 2 hooks to my harness and tells me to sit. They had been telling us to do that before we go on the zip-lines, so I do so without thinking, only to have him completely push me off the platform! I free-fell a few feet before the hooks and pulleys did their work, eventually swinging me out over the canopy top.

The last great thing we did on the 1 and a half hour zip-line excursion was the Superman. It was the longest line going over the canyon and they attached us like we were lying face down so it felt like we were flying.

Stanley getting prepped for last and final line - Superman style!

Zip-lining was so much fun, and more than worth the $40 we paid for it!

After the bus ride home - where we became good friends with two Panamanians from Miami - we packed up our stuff and headed to the bus stop, stopping at the grocery store for some munchies and water for the trip.

We loaded the bus and another spirit guide - this time in the form of an older American gentlemen who was also heading to San Pedro - started talking to us, telling us we could cut about an hour or half hour off our trip by getting off a stop early and catching a San Jose bus there, at Barrancas. We decided to do this and endured one of the most uncomfortable but beautiful bus rides of my life. It honestly looked like a mix between Guilin, China and the Pacific northwest. As we were coming out of the mountains we were even able to see the Pacific Ocean.

After a 3 hour bus ride and a 15 minute wait, we boarded another bus for a 2 hour ride to San Jose. I listened to music and sorta fell asleep for this journey, but we eventually ended up in San Jose, though in an apparently sketch district. We ended up grabbing a taxi to Maximo where we said good-bye to Jackie, and Stanley and I walked the rest of the way home.

It was a fabulous, and I absolutely cannot wait for this next weekend for another trip!

Toodles!

-Jillian

First from Costa Rica!

Here I sit, in the Maximo Nivel building (the organization we're volunteering with), waiting for a certain blue-eyed someone to finish up his first day building houses so we can go shopping. And while sitting I figured, what would be a better way to spend my time then by telling the awesome story of our flight over, as well as the first 24 hours? The answer came: sleeping. However, as the only place to sleep is a really hard wooden bench, I think I will save that for a little bit later.

I will start off by saying that the day we left, we were running late. This was my fault. Anyone surprised by this? Possibly, BUT in my defense, I slept through my alarm which set my plan for the day back about an hour. So when Stanley came to pick me up I was feverishly trying to make us breakfast (using up some of the perishable food) and pack my carry ons and make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. He quickly calmed me down, and finished cooking the eggs, all the while shouting questions at me to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything.

Needless to say, between that, a quick stop at Wal-Mart, and a fill-up at the gas station, we were about a half hour late to Stanley's dad's house. However, we got to the airport in time and with only a few hold-ups (such as the workers at Frontier who didn't seem to realize we did, in fact, know how to work a computer, and my bag being open and flinging food everywhere in the airport lobby) we found ourselves waiting for about a half hour before loading our plane to Denver.

We were excited, needless to say, and celebrated by eating a cold piece of Little Ceasar's pizza leftover from the night before (this was part of the food that had gone spilling on the floor. Don't worry, it was in a Ziploc and yes, we were soundly judged).

After a short trip where we both managed to fall asleep and thereby miss the toasty chocolate chip cookies (which, if you know Stanley or I, you know how much of a travesty this was), but safely landed on the ground in Denver full of anticipation for our 8. Hour. Layover.

No, that was not typed wrong. 8 hours. Of waiting. In an airport. IN DENVER. Again, it is lucky Stanley and I are easily entertained people, because after trying, unsuccessfully, to sleep for an hour and a half, we were semi-forced by the awkward humans encroaching on our sleeping space to go and explore the Denver airport.

Let me just say, for those of you who have never been to Denver, it can be quite fun. There are 3 concourses and a terminal, all with a train linking them together. We were situated in concourse A, which had your typical things: Ben and Jerry's McDonalds, Panda Express, 7 different versions of Travel Center with their overpriced blankets and magazines. Concourse C was simliar, but concourse B? It was a gold-mine of entertainment. Mostly because it had more stuff. Also, while in concourse B we discovered an awesome game called "Stand stationary on the moving walkways and wave to the people at the gates, seeing how many of them you can get to wave back." Once we mastered that game, we added a fun twist, instead calling it "stand stationary on the moving walkway and wave to people WHILE commentating on it like a 3rd person commentator at a sporting event." Seriously. Best way to spend your time at an airport. Plus, we made lots of people smile, which is always nice.

After riding the train (dancing to the music that came on whenever the train stopped or started, of course), exploring all the concourses, and having to go BACK through security because we got off on the wrong side, it was officially 8:30 and we had successfully wasted 3 hours.

Yup. We still had 3.5 to go.

So we filled it by eating food, having some Ben and Jerry's and watching our favorite movie "The Devil Wears Prada." After which, we retired to our terminal to call our families while Stanley did some reading and I finished up on some last minute assignments.

We loaded the plane and departed almost exactly on time, which sorta blew my mind. The ride itself would have been good, had it not been completely impossible to fall asleep. I spent the first 3 hours of the 5 hours flight wondering why my legs felt so antsy and wishing I could feel the coldness from the window. Eventually, overcome with tiredness I passed out for the last 2 hours, but this time, thanks to Stanley waking me up, we managed to get our cookies. And dude. They were really good.

So we arrived at 5 am, tired, cranky, and just feeling all over musty and airplane-ey. We made it through customs and immigration to be picked up by a woman named Ingrid who talked very quickly in Spanish because Stanley, bless his heart, said he could understand it. Luckily he could understand about 80% of it, but I was left smiling and nodding most of the way. We met another volunteer who actually turned out to be one of my 4 roommates. Her name is Breena, she's from San Diego and is going to be volunteering with me on my project.

We were dropped off at our family's houses and it turns out Stanley lives about a 2 minute walk away from me, which is really, REALLY nice. We separated under the agreement that I would head over to his place as soon as we had eaten breakfast and settled in.

This only sorta worked. Breakfast wasn't to be ready until 8, so I figured I'd settle in for an hour long nap and wake up to eat. This failed miserably and I rolled out of bed hating myself for keeping my host mom waiting to make breakfast. She didn't seem horribly put out by it though, but it was hard to tell considering she only speaks Spanish. There we met Nick, the Canadian guy who's staying with the family as well.

Anyway, after breakfast I went over to Stanley's only to be greeted by a fairly stern man who told me Stanley was sleeping and I could not go in to wake him up, but at my request said he could tell Stanley I came by.

After this I decided I too needed more sleep. So I slept AGAIN from 11 until 1, only to be awakened by STANLEY coming over! We ended up walking around the neighborhood where we lived, which is the residential part of a city called San Pedro, right outside of San Jose proper. It was a lot of fun, and we got to see some various markets and restaurants. Stanley, however, needed to be at Maximo for his orientation at 2:30, so we called it quits around 1:50 so he could go into the city with his "mom" and we could unpack with the promise that he would come on by after orientation and we'd finally be able to go shopping for the stuff we'd forgotten.

After unpacking, I figured I would tuck in for another little nap (remember, I was making up for an entire week of sleep deprivation here) and that Stanley would be by in about an hour and wake me up to go. We figured the orientation would only last an hour or so.

However, we were incorrect. I bleerily remember waking up to see some new girls coming in (there are 6 girls in the house total, plus Nick, so it's a full house) but then rolled over to fall asleep again, only to wake up a little while later to hear Stanley calling "Hola!" into the back of the house. I stumbled (literally) into the hallway where we talked for a bit. I looked at the clock and saw that I had slept from 2:30 until 5:45. And it felt GREAT.

I will digress for a moment to explain why we were in the hall. In the book it mentions no visitors being in the rooms, and this had been enforced by Stanley's "family's" reaction to me, a female, coming over to visit him. My mom, however, seemed to be totally okay with him being over and in my room as we soon learned when she came by and asked why we were standing in the hallway. We must have looked startled because then she pointed to the room and was like "oh yeah, you can go in the room, it's totally fine!" (she obviously didn't say that since she doesn't speak English, but that was the equivalent). So we got to hang out for a little bit and meet the other girls who I would be living with.

Stanley then went home to have his dinner while we had ours. After which we all walked over to the supermarket to buy some snacks for our rooms. Stanley and I then parted ways with the promise to see each other at the bus stop in the morning at 7:20, and then I spent the rest of the night talking with my new housemates until we went to bed around 10. Which, don't worry, I slept like a log and am still tired today. Apparently it takes more than one day to make up for that much lost sleep.

So yes, that was day 1 and travelling. Today has been mostly orientation and looking around and finding stuff. I'm super excited to begin volunteering and can't wait until I become more at home in the city!

Toodles!

-Jillian

p.s. New layout: Thoughts? Feelings? Impressions?

Ugh...

I seriously cannot remember the last time I was this tired.

Actually...I don't know if I've ever been this tired.

Holy. Hell. I've averaged roughly 3.5 hours of sleep a night since last Saturday. That's 6 days folks. And it wasn't like I was just chilling when this was happening. I worked - both mentally and physically. Seriously, I worked a double on Saturday and trust me, those trays are heavy. And I spent 5 hours yesterday in the sun with a hoe attacking the driest piece of land you can imagine.

But there is news.

I'M FINISHED!!

Or I will be in about an hour. All I have left is to tack on a few sentences to my conclusion and drop in citations. And then I'm done with all that is required of me.

That being said, I still might try and turn in some extra credit stuff if I have time. Those are super low pressure and will help me improve a percentage or two, which will be nice.

But seriously. All I have to do is pack and that's IT.

Lagoon and napping in the car, here I come.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Another update

I am taking a break from comparing and contrasting Marx and Kant, cuz frankly it gives me a headache.

Alright, things that have been accomplished in the last 13 days:

5 page paper on D&C 25

14 page paper on Modernization Theory and Costa Rica

3 page paper describing economy in China

4 quizzes

2 more work weekends

Court Hearing in Draper

Buying Costa Rican currency

Hanging out with friends

2 page paper on The Hunger Games

Get computer fixed (Thank you Kirk and Becca!!)

Things I still need to complete in the next 4 days:

finishing the 8 page paper comparing Marx and Kant (I've got about 2 pages right now)

1 final consisting of: 1 5-page essay on Communism and the economy; 1 5-page paper on whether economics or social variables affect a nations likelihood of adopting democracy

1 multiple choice final

1 final consisting of: 20 multiple choice questions; 2-short essay (roughly 1.5 pages each) and one long essay (roughly 3 pages)

1 day of community service in Draper

Packing/shopping for Costa Rica

Possibly re-doing my midterm and any additional 2 page essays for extra credit

I just have to say, while I've still got a lot going on, I have so many wonderful friends in my life who are helping me out. I honestly feel so blessed to know such selfless people who are willing to sacrifice their time and resources to make my life a little easier.

Alrighty, let's get back to it! This will be so much easier once I get my computer with my notes back...

Before Costa Rica...

Before Costa Rica I need to:

Take 3 written finals

Write a 5 page paper discussing democratization and why it fails in certain instances

Write an 8 page paper comparing the Marxist view of history to Kant's requirement for history

Write a 12 page paper discussing a theory of comparative politics and a case where the theory does not apply

Write a 3 page paper discussing China and their use of government in the economy of a communist system

Write a 5 page paper discussing the doctrine in D&C 25

Write a 3 page paper discussing how the Hunger Games and/or the Adjustment Bureau relates to modern political philosophy

4 or 5 more quizzes

Work 2 more weekends - so a total of at least 6 shifts

Code 20+ hours

Attend a court hearing in Draper

Most likely doing a day of community service to hopefully get out of paying $150

Laundry

Figuring out what I'm supposed to bring

Buy Costa Rican currency

Hang out with friends since I won't be seeing them for at least 6 weeks

So...now that I've written that out I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. However, it will all get done and in 18 short days I will have nothing to worry about except getting to the airport on time

Toodles!

-Jillian

This is my confession...

I have most recently become OBSESSED with these. They are Grandma's Homestyle Fudge Chocolate Chip Cookies - and they come in a 2-pack :) This little softy, chewy bundle of taste-bud pleasing happiness is only $.50 from the vending machines on campus. That's right folks, FIFTY CENTS. It's a 310 calorie package of wonderfulness and I may or may not have had them for breakfast today. It was coupled with an apple, so I feel alright about it.

But, just for a quick update, in 22 days I am jumping on a plane and going here:

...and here:

...and here:

I know, be jealous. :) But don't you fear, this will not be vacation time. Well, at least not ONLY vacation time. I will be spending roughly 20 hours a week volunteering with underprivileged youth, teaching them English so they can land jobs in the tourism sector and raise themselves out of poverty. I'm really excited for it. Also, lest you fear I'll get bored down there, I'm still working - coding for Womanstats. It'll be nice to have some source of income at least.

So you all know, I plan on blogging while I'm there. And probably changing this layout, because, frankly, it sucks and is ugly. It's a bit of an eye sore and you shouldn't have to look at it.

I'm feeling a little odd right now. The last 2 or 3 days have been super focused and super busy - 2 midterms, a paper, work, running, dates with friends - it's been crazy. And now I don't technically have anything due for the next 3 days (aside from working stuff that's not scheduled to be done until Sunday/Monday) I'm feeling very free for the day. Which is good, because I've got work, then a party with some friends from work, and then a much needed (and highly anticipated) playday up in Salt Lake with the symphony that night. I'm really excited for it and it will be nice to do that stuff without thinking about the things I need to be getting done - because everything that needs to be accomplished is already scheduled to be done at a later time. It's a rare feeling for me so I plan to treasure it and milk it for all it's worth.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Everything is Uncharted...

As my roommates know, I have become obsessed with this song lately.

I can live the life I want.

I am in charge of my life.

I can be the person I want to become.

And not only CAN I become that person, I WILL become that person. :)

You make me wanna say "I do..."

So...I love that song. And that's all there is to it. I was just thinking today about how I need to make a new summer playlist with perfect summer songs now that the weather is getting better and I'm pretty sure that song is going to be one of the ones on it, because it is that awesome.

Here are my thoughts for the day.

People who are on campus having showered, gotten dressed in normal people clothes, and have put themselves together. On a Saturday. At 7 am. Of Finals Week. I judge you...so much.

The new path on the south of campus is beautiful. If I hadn't been in a hurry to get to my final this morning I would have stopped and taken some pictures. But alas, duty called.

I actually got about 4 hours of sleep last night. One of those hours was actually an accident nap.

So I thought I had a review session today at 12:30, only to realize the session was supposed to be from 10:30 to 12:30. I talked to the girl who organized it right after our final and told her I'd see her in a few hours. She probably thinks I'm an idiot...which I am, in this case.

My final schedule looks like this:

Tonight: spend 3 hours studying for New Testament final. Take it online before bed

Tomorrow: study for Old Testament final/Crusades, grade papers and do some shock squad stuff

Monday: Take Old Testament final early in the morning, spend the rest of the day studying Crusades

Tuesday: Take Crusades early in the morning, study the rest of the day for Constitutional History

Wednesday: Study for the rest of the day for Constitutional History; take final at 2:30

Spend the rest of the evening hanging out and enjoying life with friends :)

So we'll see how this goes. Especially because the days after finals I'll be working my butt off at the Mac Shack serving flavored lemonades and Alfredo to parties of 20 celebrating their college grad.

I walked home from campus today while listening to Adele's "Hometown Glory." It's such a beautiful song. It was so surreal to walk across the mostly deserted campus with it playing in my ears.

I get to go to work in about an hour. Due to the fact it's finals and spring break AND that it's beautiful outside, I'm not counting on making any money. Which sucks, considering I'm a mid and will be there for at least 7 hours. At least Kristi will be there to make it entertaining.

I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO COSTA RICA!!! I am so excited! I cannot wait for these next 10 weeks to pass so I can board that plane and get away and have that experience.

However, I must endure 10 more weeks of classes before I get to go to there. I believe I can do it :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Thoughts on a lonely Monday...

I'm not sure what happens when you follow a blog. Just sayin'. Does that mean you get some kind of e-mail alert whenever the person you follow updates their blog? Or does it just mean you're following them when you put the link to their blog on your blog?

I've learned a lot in the past few days, both about myself and otherwise. Though I guess it's mostly about myself. I've realized I get really sad at 2 times a day - 3 pm and 6 pm. The past 3 days those are the times I've felt the worst. The rest of the time I might feel a little sad or wish things were different, but usually I can carry on and be fine.

I've discovered I'm an attention whore as well. Like, really. I used to think I just wanted his attention because we were dating and his attention meant I was important. And I was ridiculous about it sometimes. Only sometimes though, because he was an idiot about it the other part of the sometimes. If he didn't respond back during a certain timeline it really bugged me and I got super bent out of shape about it. Now I realize I'm that way with everybody. I have been chatting and texting and calling so many people lately, just because I need that interaction and if people don't respond back to me it makes me super anxious and I feel super needy.

I've also learned that you always remember the good things, not the bad. Already the fights are fading into the back of my mind, instead being overshadowed by the wonderful times we shared. Along with that though comes the self-doubt, wondering how much of what was wonderful was my perception as opposed to the reality of the situation. Second guessing is never fun, especially when you can't ask

The thing I've learned that makes me the saddest is I've learned how much he motivated me. He gave me someone to be accountable to, someone who believed in me, and cared about me and helped me focus on what I wanted out of life and that the things I wanted to do were not stupid things I wasn't qualified for or able to accomplish. And I don't want people to think this is a self-esteem thing, because it wasn't that I didn't think I wasn't good enough to accomplish them, it's that I didn't know how to go about doing it and felt there had to be people who had more experience and qualifications than I applying for the positions. He helped me navigate that as well as mold the qualities I had into things that were desirable for the things I wanted to achieve. And it kills me that it took this happening for me to realize that because now I can't thank him for it.

Because while there were some parts of him that I might have been "settling" with, there were things I got from him and from our relationship that I had never hoped to find. Things I didn't even know I wanted or that I could want.

But the fact was, I was still looking for something and apparently so was he. While I crave his interaction and miss being the one that helps him and gets to talk to him everyday, I trust that things will turn out all right. And hopefully, if we're close enough to the spirit and pay attention to what we're feeling and what we need I'm sure things will turn out the way they're supposed to, too.

So why am I writing this blog? Sharing fairly intimate feelings with the world? Mostly because I needed to get those thoughts out and I feel like I've bogged down every person close to me. But I also wanted people to know I'm doing okay. While I wish things were different, I understand that they can't be and that I know things will eventually work out, even if it sucks right now.

I also want people to know that I don't hate him and I'm not angry at him. While sometimes I think it would be easier if I did hate him and wanted to reject him and make him hurt, I can't make myself do that. Even the thought of doing that makes me feel horrible. He's a good person, and while I worry about him I know he managed to survive 22 years without me and that he'll probably make it through the next ones just fine.

I haven't done this for a while...

So, here I am again, once more completely procrastinating the day of my writing assignments. However, this one is a bit more intense than a 3 page introduction to political science paper - this is an 8-10 page final term paper.

I'm a little terrified.

However, unlike last time, I am not only starting before midnight, but I've actually done some of the research beforehand. Which I figure will be a start in the right direction. So here we go.

11:20 - I've written the introduction. It's about a page long, which means I'll probably need to lean more towards the 10 page instead of the 8 pages length. However, I'm at a pretty good stopping point so Stanley and I are going to go put some cookies in the over :)

11:21 - hold the phone...I just learned this version of words has a CITATION MACHINE!!! Holy heck. This will make my paper so much easier!

11:42 - cookies are in the oven. I'm quite excited to bite into those little buggers. We're trying Pillsbury this time, so hopefully it will be better than our last attempt with Tollhouse, which failed.

11:53 - sometimes my boyfriend is really cute. He just brought me down milk and cookies so I could keep writing

12:14 - I was supposed to register for classes tonight at 12:00. However, something is apparently wrong because it's not letting me register. Not only is this frustrating right now because the seats are going in classes I'm needing to take, but it also means I'm going to be spending a chunk of time on the phone tomorrow trying to figure out what's going on. This is not exciting to me.

12:28 - I've almost got 2 pages on the paper. Right now I'm covering her background, though I'm needing to root through my books to find more detailed information. However, it's nice because it means I'm about 1/6 of the way done :)

1:46 - I just arrived safely back from Stanley's house after stopping by the gas station to pick up SmartPop and a Rockstar Lemonade (no carbonation so I'm not technically breaking my commitment for Lent!). Thought about the paper on the way home and am thinking I know what points I want to make which will make writing the paper easier. However, I almost crashed twice because I fell asleep, so I'm going to take an hour long power nap so I'll hopefully be more productive upon awakening. So...see you in an hour...

3:00 - Alrighty, back and (sorta) raring to go! I just talked to Ruth and she explained part of the registration problem might have been a glitch on the administration miscalculating priority registration deadlines

3:14 - Holy heck. I forgot how amazing this SmartPop popcorn is. It's a problem

3:22 - Ha! I just figured out how to add in some great paragraphs about the Troubadors which will not only give my argument context but will add length and quotes as well. Bonus.

3:37 - I really need to learn how to take notes better. I'm recalling information that I've learned from the books I've read but cannot for the life of me remember which books or where the information is located. Which is why I fail at life.

3:41 - Going in for some more RockStar...

3:51 - I'm at about 2.8 pages. Is it bad that I'm feeling rather confident? I feel like I should be more afraid considering I'm only about a third of the way done. However, I am currently listening to Brandi Carlile and feeling oddly focused. That's always encouraging :)

3:55 - I keep having flashbacks to writing papers late into the night last semester when Stanley would be waking up in Spain and I'd be chatting with him to stay awake. Except now he's asleep 40 miles away. Lucky guy

4:12 - I keep getting distracted by this citations thing. I have to focus though. I still have at least 5 pages to go and only 4 hours to write it in

4:14 - I'm a little concerned my thesis is slightly different than the one he approved - namely that it doesn't deal enough with the Crusades. Oh well, I'm analyzing why she went on Crusade and using pre-Crusade information to bolster the argument. That's legit, right?

4:24 - Time to wash my face. I can feel myself fading... But I have hit the over 3 page mark folks!

4:32 - Random fact: this woman I'm writing about not only allegedly had an affair with her Uncle, but also allegedly had an affair with her future father-in-law while married to her second cousin. They're royalty, it's fine, incest is high quality in these cases.

4:40 - some of these names make me giggle. Conrad the Handsome. How'd you like to be his successor and be named something like Richard the Tolerable or Richard the Not-As-Dashing-As-The-Other-Guy-But- I-Guess-We'll-Make-Due? That would be embarrassing, I would think.

4:50 - I'm a slow paper writer. And I think I'm okay with that. As long as I can turn this paper in on time, that is.

4:59 - Done with page 4. About halfway there.

5:02 - Sometimes I do the same things my students do in their papers that I hate. Like use faulty logic and make assumptions that aren't necessarily supported by fact, but possibly could be. Whoops.

5:16 - 4.5 pages. Score

5:27 - I have (at minimum) 3 pages left to go, then putting together a bibliography and filling in empty footnotes. I also, happily enough, have 2.5 more things to expand on, including a few more quotes to throw in there. This makes me happy. It looks like this paper may not suck like a black hole after all. It must just suck like our broken down vacuum.

5:39 - I'm losing steam. I'm not sure how to remedy this. I'm thinking another chug of RockStar... Just 3.5 hours before it's due and 5 hours before I can go to bed! At least 2 pages more to go! I can do it!

5:51 - I'm stable again...however it's not an awake stable, but we should be okay. Hopefully I can wrap up the actual writing in the next hour so I can spend the next few hours writing the bibliography and editing.

6:04 - I'm almost starting on page 8. Meg's called it a night. Pretty sure the only thing keeping me going is that nap I took earlier.

6:11 - yup, I'm really tired. Just sayin'

6:23 - I need to mix something up or I'm going to fall asleep. Time to eat some breakfast with my freshly bought milk and look up some stuff! :)

6:51 - working on filling in the blanks. Hopefully I'll be able to do a bibliography before I go to class so I don't have to haul all those books up there again!

7:06 - the sun is rising! And I may or may not have been distracted by reading a ridiculous thread online about non-Mormons being allowed in the temple for wedding ceremonies. *sheepish grin* Oh, and 2 hours and counting...

7:22 - get ready to head up to campus

7:40 - begin walking...stupid duffel bag of books...

7:54 - starting on footnotes...

8:35 - starting on bibliography...I love the copy and paste method...

8:52 - scrambling to save it to my thumb drive. I have to run to the SWKT and print it off still!!!

9:03 - after dropping my phone and having to hunt down the heavy duty stapler, it is IN!!!

Sometimes I'm pretty cool. Though I'd be a lot cooler if I felt confident about my paper. Sad panda...oh well, I feel like, all things considered, I did a fairly good job. I think I'll reward myself with a nap :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Obligatory witty title of blog

I have 10 papers left to grade. Holy. Poo. I cannot wait until this assignment is over. 5 page research papers are no bueno to write, let alone grade. Actually, especially to grade. I'd write this paper 10 times over if it meant I didn't have to grade it.

That being said, here is a brief overview of my last, oh, 2.5 weeks:

3 midterms

2 papers

40 5-page papers to grade

40 1-page papers to grade

My car breaking down - twice

$350 to fix said car

Being stranded in West Jordan without said car

Having to drive up to Salt Lake (twice) specifically to check out books for a 12 page paper

I think those are the main highlights. Of course, there was yesterday which I'm pretty sure made up for all the crappiness that had been going on. We went to the festival of colors and had a fantastic time, after which we had a nap, an amazing 2.5 hour walk, and then the most wonderful Indian food at Bombay House. We then had mediocre (sorry, they really weren't that good) desserts from a local Italian place that shall not be named as it's traitorous for us to go to any place other than Macaroni Grill while watching a great documentary - Waiting for Superman. This was especially pertinent to me as I'm planning on going into eduction. However, I feel all people with a stake in public education should watch it. So really, everyone should watch it :)

Alright, I'm going to go get my clothes out of the washer and into the dryer and then hopefully tackle these last 10 papers. Hope everyone's having a great sabbath!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Diving in head first...

So we're at the second round of midterms. Luckily they're all fairly condensed this time. I had one on Tuesday, have one on Friday, have one on Monday and then wrote one yesterday. Which means that after my review session on Tuesday I should be home clear to work on my term paper for my Crusades class.

Once April rolls around I should have a pretty nice 2 week period of time to catch up on reading and do some studying. It will be grand.

...That's pretty much it for an update. I've officially paid the registration fee for volunteering in Costa Rica. I'M REALLY GOING!!!

This makes me super excited and gives me something to look forward to once these hectic 3 months are over. I'm taking my senior capstone class this summer which means it will be intense and challenging...but after that I've finished the culminating class of my college career. I can't wait to have that feeling, knowing that I just have to finish some basic history classes before I'm home free. Plus it will be nice to have that writing sample to use for Seminar as well as graduate programs and for the Teach for America program.

It will be exciting, nonetheless

Toodles!

-Jillian

Breathe...

I am taking a break from grading papers. I'm pretty sure doing this actually makes my brain turn to mush a little bit.

Sometimes I feel like a baby-sitter with my students. I realize I'm not to a majority of them, but sometimes when they send me e-mails being like "I forgot about this!" or "I messed up on this!" I can't help but feel like I'm the nanny running over to them with a damp rag to wipe up their scraped knee. Or that I'm their secretary, constantly reminding them of deadlines. There's that too.

Alrighty, off to heat up my lunch and continue with the grading. However, I will leave you with something AWESOME:

This is what I want my future house to look like, with a few alterations, of course.

Just real quickly...

I want to alert you all to the fact that I am, in fact, still alive. I know this saddens some of you who were hoping to inherit my awesome movie collection and my newly acquired lava lamp, but alas, I still want and need those.

However, this hiatus will still last a little bit longer. I have a midterm to take today, another one on Wednesday, a paper to write before Tuesday, a document to code Thursday, papers to grade on Friday and a wedding to attend on Saturday.

Sunday, however, is going to be a good day :)

And actually Saturday will be really good too. I'm quite excited. Stanley's cousin Rachel is getting married and they are one of the coolest couples I know, so I'm sure marriage will just escalate said awesomeness.

Alrighty, off to pay attention to class. We are not discussing Mormons in political history. Woohoo!

Toodles!

-Jillian

In case you couldn't tell...

It's midterm. There's no way I'm going to be able to keep up with this blogging thing and still be a productive human. So. I'm putting a hold on it.

Just thought I'd let you all know...

-Jillian

Days 9 & 10

I'm totally failing at this blogging thing. Sorry folks. I'll try harder :)

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the last few days:

I'm just proud of the last few days in general. I've worked my last Sunday shift at Macaroni Grill (and getting free sushi from it too, might I add), written a quiz, got my WomanStats stuff figured out, scheduled this next week, taken a midterm (that I don't think I failed), went to all my classes where I mostly paid attention, gone running, broken down my schedule for midterms and graded 40 some odd papers while helping students on their next assignment.

I guess overall, I'm just proud that I'm getting my stuff together and being a productive human. And as a reward, tonight I get to go to Brick Oven with my roommates (and Stanley) for a birthday dinner and just get to relax and not worry about school. That is, if I get all the papers graded and sent out, of course :)

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

Ha! This one's fun. When I'm happy I listen to a playlist called "you make me smile" It has some awesome songs on it. It has songs like "Soul Sister," "Teenage Dream," and "You Make Me Smile." It also has a lot of Ingrid Michaelson and Sarah Barielles.

When I'm sad I tend to listen to Brandi Carlile. Love her music.

Bored: I'm not sure. I honestly don't know if I ever am bored or if it's just the feeling of being obligated to do something when I'd much rather be doing something else. If that's the case, then I listen to symphony music. It helps me focus on what I need to be doing at the time.

Hyped: I love this one!!! Mostly because I have a certain song I listen to when I want to feel like a BA, which is usually when I go take a test. I walk into the testing center with Mamba's, carrots, and my water bottle and have "Uprising" by Muse blasting my ears. If that doesn't do it for me I'll usually listen to "Breaking Dishes" by Rhianna or "Supermassive Black Hole" also by Muse. But very rarely does "Uprising" not get me going.

Mad: I'm not sure what I listen to when I'm mad. When that happens I usually want to talk to someone about it so I'm no longer mad or so the person can understand why they made me mad can then cower, tell me how right I am, and beg for my forgiveness (this last thing? Yeah, almost never happens. I think it's because of who I'm dating...). The point is, music does not usually play a part in my life when I'm mad.

So yes, there's a small snippet of my music habits. I hope you all enjoyed :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Days 6, 7, and 8

This weekend sort of got away from me. I spent Friday night up in Salt Lake and spent all Saturday having fun with the boyfriend going to the symphony, watching movies, and playing at the DI and Toys 'R Us. I can't imagine anyone else I'd be able to do such a diverse amount of things with where we both truly enjoy them, and not just because we're doing them with each other. Though that always seems to make it better.

But, because of that, I'm a little behind on this blogging thing, so here we go:

Day 6: Favorite superhero and why

I think my favorite superhero has to be Batman. Because while Superman and Spiderman and all the other superheroes are cool (okay, Spiderman not so much) Batman is awesome because he's a real person. Like, actually human. He wasn't genetically modified or imported from some other planet. He was a man who felt the need to change things and had the resources to do so. Which makes him awesome.

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you:

These are some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. I put this picture because of what the life changing experience this picture represents as well. These are my Jackson girls. We spent one amazing, tumultuous, life-altering summer together and have managed to keep in touch and stay friends in the years following. They are the ones I know I can call whenever I need anything who, no matter how busy we are, will always be there no matter how long it's been since we've talked or seen each other. They are all amazing, beautiful, talented, driven, intelligent, loving women who have blessed my life in so so so many ways.

This one is more obvious. No matter how things turn out with this kid, he has done a lot to shape my life during a very influential period. He makes me think about and experience things that I never would have otherwise. Plus he's wonderful and makes me laugh like no one else. He makes me want to be a better person while taking me the way I am.

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

Okay, this is hard because I really want to turn this into a to-do list, but I will refrain, because no one wants to see that. So this is what I hope to accomplish by the beginning of March - so in 28 days:

Survive Midterms - meaning don't get anything below an 83%

Keep up with my TA work:

Keep up with other readings

Start running again

Not fall behind in assignments

So yes, those seem very general, but that's about as far ahead I can think right now.

Alrighty, I have succeeded in making this up to date! Gold Star!!

Toodles!

-Jillian

A picture of a place you've been

In case you can't tell, I'm having a hard time picking just one. I've been to lots of places, whether it be Museums, campus, or my boyfriends house, and they all have their special place in my heart and memory. However, I figured I'd include some of the place I've actually traveled to that other people might recognize:

This picture was taken in Guilin, China, on a boat on the Yellow River. For those of you who may not know (or were not there) I traveled to 4 different cities in China in 2007 - Guilin, along the southern coast, Lijang, up near the Himalayan Mountain range, Shanghai, and Beijing. We went with the Eastern Oregon University choir and it was an amazing week and a half. I climbed the Great Wall, vomited in an elevator, saw amazing acrobats, ate skewed yak meet, and met some amazing people.

This is a picture of where I spent 3 of the last 4 summers. While this picture is actually in Grand Teton National Park, it's beauty is indicative of what you see in Yellowstone as well. This was actually taken up along the Jenny Lake Trail which was and still is one of my favorite places in the park. I've shared it with some of the most special people in my life.

This was taken this last summer in Moab. Logan, Lou, Hillary, Stanley and I were playing in Goblin Valley when Stanley and I decided to stop and grab a peanut and butter sandwich. Logan took the opportunity to grab a snapshot of the two of us perched on one of the huge sandstone structures. It makes me happy.

A habit you wish you didn't have

This is a hard one for me. At first I couldn't think of a habit I wish I didn't have because to me a habit is chewing your nails or picking wedgies in public or an awkward face twitch. And while I do have some odd habits I wouldn't say I wish I didn't have them.

However, there are some very serious traits I wish I didn't have. For instance, I have this really bad...I'll use the word habit here...of getting lost inside my own head, especially when I have a lot to do. I get really caught up in my never ending to-do list or thinking about some of the problems in my life or how tired and/or unfulfilled I am. And what's funny is none of these are really legitimate problems. I almost create the problem in my own mind and then get tangled up in it to the point I'm paralyzed and unproductive.

I feel like it's obvious as to why I wish I didn't have this habit and therefore this post needs no more expounding. However, I will state that I'm currently attempting to overcome this flaw, though with varied success.

I'll be back tomorrow!

-Jillian

A picture of you as a child

Okay, I'm was super excited for this day mostly because I adore this picture. This was taken in upstate New York where my family and I used to spend our summers.

For those of you who may not know (or may not guess) this smiling, adorable blonde is my older sister Jessica. We're only 18 months a part, which sometimes caused friction between the two of us. Plus, as you can probably see from the picture as well, we are pretty different, and not only in appearance. We spent most of our childhood and teenage years bickering and fighting, but then in High School we became friends. Our family had moved to a new town and with that came a new school. I spent a majority of the first year refusing to acclimate and the only reason I survived was because of Jessy. She helped me socialize and created a network of friends I could be a part of so I wouldn't feel completely alienated, making sure I was included in everything she was. When she graduated the next year I had come into my own in high school, mostly because she gave me the support and ability to do so.

Now she is married, has two beautiful children and is still one of the most inspiring women I know. Her husband is overseas with the National Guard and she's raising her babes with so much patience and love, all the while handing that incredible hardships with diligence. And amazingly, she manages to do so with the same sweet smile she has in this picture taken 15 years ago.