You make me wanna say "I do..."

So...I love that song. And that's all there is to it. I was just thinking today about how I need to make a new summer playlist with perfect summer songs now that the weather is getting better and I'm pretty sure that song is going to be one of the ones on it, because it is that awesome.

Here are my thoughts for the day.

People who are on campus having showered, gotten dressed in normal people clothes, and have put themselves together. On a Saturday. At 7 am. Of Finals Week. I judge you...so much.

The new path on the south of campus is beautiful. If I hadn't been in a hurry to get to my final this morning I would have stopped and taken some pictures. But alas, duty called.

I actually got about 4 hours of sleep last night. One of those hours was actually an accident nap.

So I thought I had a review session today at 12:30, only to realize the session was supposed to be from 10:30 to 12:30. I talked to the girl who organized it right after our final and told her I'd see her in a few hours. She probably thinks I'm an idiot...which I am, in this case.

My final schedule looks like this:

Tonight: spend 3 hours studying for New Testament final. Take it online before bed

Tomorrow: study for Old Testament final/Crusades, grade papers and do some shock squad stuff

Monday: Take Old Testament final early in the morning, spend the rest of the day studying Crusades

Tuesday: Take Crusades early in the morning, study the rest of the day for Constitutional History

Wednesday: Study for the rest of the day for Constitutional History; take final at 2:30

Spend the rest of the evening hanging out and enjoying life with friends :)

So we'll see how this goes. Especially because the days after finals I'll be working my butt off at the Mac Shack serving flavored lemonades and Alfredo to parties of 20 celebrating their college grad.

I walked home from campus today while listening to Adele's "Hometown Glory." It's such a beautiful song. It was so surreal to walk across the mostly deserted campus with it playing in my ears.

I get to go to work in about an hour. Due to the fact it's finals and spring break AND that it's beautiful outside, I'm not counting on making any money. Which sucks, considering I'm a mid and will be there for at least 7 hours. At least Kristi will be there to make it entertaining.

I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO COSTA RICA!!! I am so excited! I cannot wait for these next 10 weeks to pass so I can board that plane and get away and have that experience.

However, I must endure 10 more weeks of classes before I get to go to there. I believe I can do it :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Thoughts on a lonely Monday...

I'm not sure what happens when you follow a blog. Just sayin'. Does that mean you get some kind of e-mail alert whenever the person you follow updates their blog? Or does it just mean you're following them when you put the link to their blog on your blog?

I've learned a lot in the past few days, both about myself and otherwise. Though I guess it's mostly about myself. I've realized I get really sad at 2 times a day - 3 pm and 6 pm. The past 3 days those are the times I've felt the worst. The rest of the time I might feel a little sad or wish things were different, but usually I can carry on and be fine.

I've discovered I'm an attention whore as well. Like, really. I used to think I just wanted his attention because we were dating and his attention meant I was important. And I was ridiculous about it sometimes. Only sometimes though, because he was an idiot about it the other part of the sometimes. If he didn't respond back during a certain timeline it really bugged me and I got super bent out of shape about it. Now I realize I'm that way with everybody. I have been chatting and texting and calling so many people lately, just because I need that interaction and if people don't respond back to me it makes me super anxious and I feel super needy.

I've also learned that you always remember the good things, not the bad. Already the fights are fading into the back of my mind, instead being overshadowed by the wonderful times we shared. Along with that though comes the self-doubt, wondering how much of what was wonderful was my perception as opposed to the reality of the situation. Second guessing is never fun, especially when you can't ask

The thing I've learned that makes me the saddest is I've learned how much he motivated me. He gave me someone to be accountable to, someone who believed in me, and cared about me and helped me focus on what I wanted out of life and that the things I wanted to do were not stupid things I wasn't qualified for or able to accomplish. And I don't want people to think this is a self-esteem thing, because it wasn't that I didn't think I wasn't good enough to accomplish them, it's that I didn't know how to go about doing it and felt there had to be people who had more experience and qualifications than I applying for the positions. He helped me navigate that as well as mold the qualities I had into things that were desirable for the things I wanted to achieve. And it kills me that it took this happening for me to realize that because now I can't thank him for it.

Because while there were some parts of him that I might have been "settling" with, there were things I got from him and from our relationship that I had never hoped to find. Things I didn't even know I wanted or that I could want.

But the fact was, I was still looking for something and apparently so was he. While I crave his interaction and miss being the one that helps him and gets to talk to him everyday, I trust that things will turn out all right. And hopefully, if we're close enough to the spirit and pay attention to what we're feeling and what we need I'm sure things will turn out the way they're supposed to, too.

So why am I writing this blog? Sharing fairly intimate feelings with the world? Mostly because I needed to get those thoughts out and I feel like I've bogged down every person close to me. But I also wanted people to know I'm doing okay. While I wish things were different, I understand that they can't be and that I know things will eventually work out, even if it sucks right now.

I also want people to know that I don't hate him and I'm not angry at him. While sometimes I think it would be easier if I did hate him and wanted to reject him and make him hurt, I can't make myself do that. Even the thought of doing that makes me feel horrible. He's a good person, and while I worry about him I know he managed to survive 22 years without me and that he'll probably make it through the next ones just fine.

I haven't done this for a while...

So, here I am again, once more completely procrastinating the day of my writing assignments. However, this one is a bit more intense than a 3 page introduction to political science paper - this is an 8-10 page final term paper.

I'm a little terrified.

However, unlike last time, I am not only starting before midnight, but I've actually done some of the research beforehand. Which I figure will be a start in the right direction. So here we go.

11:20 - I've written the introduction. It's about a page long, which means I'll probably need to lean more towards the 10 page instead of the 8 pages length. However, I'm at a pretty good stopping point so Stanley and I are going to go put some cookies in the over :)

11:21 - hold the phone...I just learned this version of words has a CITATION MACHINE!!! Holy heck. This will make my paper so much easier!

11:42 - cookies are in the oven. I'm quite excited to bite into those little buggers. We're trying Pillsbury this time, so hopefully it will be better than our last attempt with Tollhouse, which failed.

11:53 - sometimes my boyfriend is really cute. He just brought me down milk and cookies so I could keep writing

12:14 - I was supposed to register for classes tonight at 12:00. However, something is apparently wrong because it's not letting me register. Not only is this frustrating right now because the seats are going in classes I'm needing to take, but it also means I'm going to be spending a chunk of time on the phone tomorrow trying to figure out what's going on. This is not exciting to me.

12:28 - I've almost got 2 pages on the paper. Right now I'm covering her background, though I'm needing to root through my books to find more detailed information. However, it's nice because it means I'm about 1/6 of the way done :)

1:46 - I just arrived safely back from Stanley's house after stopping by the gas station to pick up SmartPop and a Rockstar Lemonade (no carbonation so I'm not technically breaking my commitment for Lent!). Thought about the paper on the way home and am thinking I know what points I want to make which will make writing the paper easier. However, I almost crashed twice because I fell asleep, so I'm going to take an hour long power nap so I'll hopefully be more productive upon awakening. So...see you in an hour...

3:00 - Alrighty, back and (sorta) raring to go! I just talked to Ruth and she explained part of the registration problem might have been a glitch on the administration miscalculating priority registration deadlines

3:14 - Holy heck. I forgot how amazing this SmartPop popcorn is. It's a problem

3:22 - Ha! I just figured out how to add in some great paragraphs about the Troubadors which will not only give my argument context but will add length and quotes as well. Bonus.

3:37 - I really need to learn how to take notes better. I'm recalling information that I've learned from the books I've read but cannot for the life of me remember which books or where the information is located. Which is why I fail at life.

3:41 - Going in for some more RockStar...

3:51 - I'm at about 2.8 pages. Is it bad that I'm feeling rather confident? I feel like I should be more afraid considering I'm only about a third of the way done. However, I am currently listening to Brandi Carlile and feeling oddly focused. That's always encouraging :)

3:55 - I keep having flashbacks to writing papers late into the night last semester when Stanley would be waking up in Spain and I'd be chatting with him to stay awake. Except now he's asleep 40 miles away. Lucky guy

4:12 - I keep getting distracted by this citations thing. I have to focus though. I still have at least 5 pages to go and only 4 hours to write it in

4:14 - I'm a little concerned my thesis is slightly different than the one he approved - namely that it doesn't deal enough with the Crusades. Oh well, I'm analyzing why she went on Crusade and using pre-Crusade information to bolster the argument. That's legit, right?

4:24 - Time to wash my face. I can feel myself fading... But I have hit the over 3 page mark folks!

4:32 - Random fact: this woman I'm writing about not only allegedly had an affair with her Uncle, but also allegedly had an affair with her future father-in-law while married to her second cousin. They're royalty, it's fine, incest is high quality in these cases.

4:40 - some of these names make me giggle. Conrad the Handsome. How'd you like to be his successor and be named something like Richard the Tolerable or Richard the Not-As-Dashing-As-The-Other-Guy-But- I-Guess-We'll-Make-Due? That would be embarrassing, I would think.

4:50 - I'm a slow paper writer. And I think I'm okay with that. As long as I can turn this paper in on time, that is.

4:59 - Done with page 4. About halfway there.

5:02 - Sometimes I do the same things my students do in their papers that I hate. Like use faulty logic and make assumptions that aren't necessarily supported by fact, but possibly could be. Whoops.

5:16 - 4.5 pages. Score

5:27 - I have (at minimum) 3 pages left to go, then putting together a bibliography and filling in empty footnotes. I also, happily enough, have 2.5 more things to expand on, including a few more quotes to throw in there. This makes me happy. It looks like this paper may not suck like a black hole after all. It must just suck like our broken down vacuum.

5:39 - I'm losing steam. I'm not sure how to remedy this. I'm thinking another chug of RockStar... Just 3.5 hours before it's due and 5 hours before I can go to bed! At least 2 pages more to go! I can do it!

5:51 - I'm stable again...however it's not an awake stable, but we should be okay. Hopefully I can wrap up the actual writing in the next hour so I can spend the next few hours writing the bibliography and editing.

6:04 - I'm almost starting on page 8. Meg's called it a night. Pretty sure the only thing keeping me going is that nap I took earlier.

6:11 - yup, I'm really tired. Just sayin'

6:23 - I need to mix something up or I'm going to fall asleep. Time to eat some breakfast with my freshly bought milk and look up some stuff! :)

6:51 - working on filling in the blanks. Hopefully I'll be able to do a bibliography before I go to class so I don't have to haul all those books up there again!

7:06 - the sun is rising! And I may or may not have been distracted by reading a ridiculous thread online about non-Mormons being allowed in the temple for wedding ceremonies. *sheepish grin* Oh, and 2 hours and counting...

7:22 - get ready to head up to campus

7:40 - begin walking...stupid duffel bag of books...

7:54 - starting on footnotes...

8:35 - starting on bibliography...I love the copy and paste method...

8:52 - scrambling to save it to my thumb drive. I have to run to the SWKT and print it off still!!!

9:03 - after dropping my phone and having to hunt down the heavy duty stapler, it is IN!!!

Sometimes I'm pretty cool. Though I'd be a lot cooler if I felt confident about my paper. Sad panda...oh well, I feel like, all things considered, I did a fairly good job. I think I'll reward myself with a nap :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Obligatory witty title of blog

I have 10 papers left to grade. Holy. Poo. I cannot wait until this assignment is over. 5 page research papers are no bueno to write, let alone grade. Actually, especially to grade. I'd write this paper 10 times over if it meant I didn't have to grade it.

That being said, here is a brief overview of my last, oh, 2.5 weeks:

3 midterms

2 papers

40 5-page papers to grade

40 1-page papers to grade

My car breaking down - twice

$350 to fix said car

Being stranded in West Jordan without said car

Having to drive up to Salt Lake (twice) specifically to check out books for a 12 page paper

I think those are the main highlights. Of course, there was yesterday which I'm pretty sure made up for all the crappiness that had been going on. We went to the festival of colors and had a fantastic time, after which we had a nap, an amazing 2.5 hour walk, and then the most wonderful Indian food at Bombay House. We then had mediocre (sorry, they really weren't that good) desserts from a local Italian place that shall not be named as it's traitorous for us to go to any place other than Macaroni Grill while watching a great documentary - Waiting for Superman. This was especially pertinent to me as I'm planning on going into eduction. However, I feel all people with a stake in public education should watch it. So really, everyone should watch it :)

Alright, I'm going to go get my clothes out of the washer and into the dryer and then hopefully tackle these last 10 papers. Hope everyone's having a great sabbath!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Diving in head first...

So we're at the second round of midterms. Luckily they're all fairly condensed this time. I had one on Tuesday, have one on Friday, have one on Monday and then wrote one yesterday. Which means that after my review session on Tuesday I should be home clear to work on my term paper for my Crusades class.

Once April rolls around I should have a pretty nice 2 week period of time to catch up on reading and do some studying. It will be grand.

...That's pretty much it for an update. I've officially paid the registration fee for volunteering in Costa Rica. I'M REALLY GOING!!!

This makes me super excited and gives me something to look forward to once these hectic 3 months are over. I'm taking my senior capstone class this summer which means it will be intense and challenging...but after that I've finished the culminating class of my college career. I can't wait to have that feeling, knowing that I just have to finish some basic history classes before I'm home free. Plus it will be nice to have that writing sample to use for Seminar as well as graduate programs and for the Teach for America program.

It will be exciting, nonetheless

Toodles!

-Jillian

Breathe...

I am taking a break from grading papers. I'm pretty sure doing this actually makes my brain turn to mush a little bit.

Sometimes I feel like a baby-sitter with my students. I realize I'm not to a majority of them, but sometimes when they send me e-mails being like "I forgot about this!" or "I messed up on this!" I can't help but feel like I'm the nanny running over to them with a damp rag to wipe up their scraped knee. Or that I'm their secretary, constantly reminding them of deadlines. There's that too.

Alrighty, off to heat up my lunch and continue with the grading. However, I will leave you with something AWESOME:

This is what I want my future house to look like, with a few alterations, of course.

Just real quickly...

I want to alert you all to the fact that I am, in fact, still alive. I know this saddens some of you who were hoping to inherit my awesome movie collection and my newly acquired lava lamp, but alas, I still want and need those.

However, this hiatus will still last a little bit longer. I have a midterm to take today, another one on Wednesday, a paper to write before Tuesday, a document to code Thursday, papers to grade on Friday and a wedding to attend on Saturday.

Sunday, however, is going to be a good day :)

And actually Saturday will be really good too. I'm quite excited. Stanley's cousin Rachel is getting married and they are one of the coolest couples I know, so I'm sure marriage will just escalate said awesomeness.

Alrighty, off to pay attention to class. We are not discussing Mormons in political history. Woohoo!

Toodles!

-Jillian

In case you couldn't tell...

It's midterm. There's no way I'm going to be able to keep up with this blogging thing and still be a productive human. So. I'm putting a hold on it.

Just thought I'd let you all know...

-Jillian

Days 9 & 10

I'm totally failing at this blogging thing. Sorry folks. I'll try harder :)

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the last few days:

I'm just proud of the last few days in general. I've worked my last Sunday shift at Macaroni Grill (and getting free sushi from it too, might I add), written a quiz, got my WomanStats stuff figured out, scheduled this next week, taken a midterm (that I don't think I failed), went to all my classes where I mostly paid attention, gone running, broken down my schedule for midterms and graded 40 some odd papers while helping students on their next assignment.

I guess overall, I'm just proud that I'm getting my stuff together and being a productive human. And as a reward, tonight I get to go to Brick Oven with my roommates (and Stanley) for a birthday dinner and just get to relax and not worry about school. That is, if I get all the papers graded and sent out, of course :)

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

Ha! This one's fun. When I'm happy I listen to a playlist called "you make me smile" It has some awesome songs on it. It has songs like "Soul Sister," "Teenage Dream," and "You Make Me Smile." It also has a lot of Ingrid Michaelson and Sarah Barielles.

When I'm sad I tend to listen to Brandi Carlile. Love her music.

Bored: I'm not sure. I honestly don't know if I ever am bored or if it's just the feeling of being obligated to do something when I'd much rather be doing something else. If that's the case, then I listen to symphony music. It helps me focus on what I need to be doing at the time.

Hyped: I love this one!!! Mostly because I have a certain song I listen to when I want to feel like a BA, which is usually when I go take a test. I walk into the testing center with Mamba's, carrots, and my water bottle and have "Uprising" by Muse blasting my ears. If that doesn't do it for me I'll usually listen to "Breaking Dishes" by Rhianna or "Supermassive Black Hole" also by Muse. But very rarely does "Uprising" not get me going.

Mad: I'm not sure what I listen to when I'm mad. When that happens I usually want to talk to someone about it so I'm no longer mad or so the person can understand why they made me mad can then cower, tell me how right I am, and beg for my forgiveness (this last thing? Yeah, almost never happens. I think it's because of who I'm dating...). The point is, music does not usually play a part in my life when I'm mad.

So yes, there's a small snippet of my music habits. I hope you all enjoyed :)

Toodles!

-Jillian

Days 6, 7, and 8

This weekend sort of got away from me. I spent Friday night up in Salt Lake and spent all Saturday having fun with the boyfriend going to the symphony, watching movies, and playing at the DI and Toys 'R Us. I can't imagine anyone else I'd be able to do such a diverse amount of things with where we both truly enjoy them, and not just because we're doing them with each other. Though that always seems to make it better.

But, because of that, I'm a little behind on this blogging thing, so here we go:

Day 6: Favorite superhero and why

I think my favorite superhero has to be Batman. Because while Superman and Spiderman and all the other superheroes are cool (okay, Spiderman not so much) Batman is awesome because he's a real person. Like, actually human. He wasn't genetically modified or imported from some other planet. He was a man who felt the need to change things and had the resources to do so. Which makes him awesome.

Day 7: A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you:

These are some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. I put this picture because of what the life changing experience this picture represents as well. These are my Jackson girls. We spent one amazing, tumultuous, life-altering summer together and have managed to keep in touch and stay friends in the years following. They are the ones I know I can call whenever I need anything who, no matter how busy we are, will always be there no matter how long it's been since we've talked or seen each other. They are all amazing, beautiful, talented, driven, intelligent, loving women who have blessed my life in so so so many ways.

This one is more obvious. No matter how things turn out with this kid, he has done a lot to shape my life during a very influential period. He makes me think about and experience things that I never would have otherwise. Plus he's wonderful and makes me laugh like no one else. He makes me want to be a better person while taking me the way I am.

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

Okay, this is hard because I really want to turn this into a to-do list, but I will refrain, because no one wants to see that. So this is what I hope to accomplish by the beginning of March - so in 28 days:

Survive Midterms - meaning don't get anything below an 83%

Keep up with my TA work:

Keep up with other readings

Start running again

Not fall behind in assignments

So yes, those seem very general, but that's about as far ahead I can think right now.

Alrighty, I have succeeded in making this up to date! Gold Star!!

Toodles!

-Jillian

A picture of a place you've been

In case you can't tell, I'm having a hard time picking just one. I've been to lots of places, whether it be Museums, campus, or my boyfriends house, and they all have their special place in my heart and memory. However, I figured I'd include some of the place I've actually traveled to that other people might recognize:

This picture was taken in Guilin, China, on a boat on the Yellow River. For those of you who may not know (or were not there) I traveled to 4 different cities in China in 2007 - Guilin, along the southern coast, Lijang, up near the Himalayan Mountain range, Shanghai, and Beijing. We went with the Eastern Oregon University choir and it was an amazing week and a half. I climbed the Great Wall, vomited in an elevator, saw amazing acrobats, ate skewed yak meet, and met some amazing people.

This is a picture of where I spent 3 of the last 4 summers. While this picture is actually in Grand Teton National Park, it's beauty is indicative of what you see in Yellowstone as well. This was actually taken up along the Jenny Lake Trail which was and still is one of my favorite places in the park. I've shared it with some of the most special people in my life.

This was taken this last summer in Moab. Logan, Lou, Hillary, Stanley and I were playing in Goblin Valley when Stanley and I decided to stop and grab a peanut and butter sandwich. Logan took the opportunity to grab a snapshot of the two of us perched on one of the huge sandstone structures. It makes me happy.

A habit you wish you didn't have

This is a hard one for me. At first I couldn't think of a habit I wish I didn't have because to me a habit is chewing your nails or picking wedgies in public or an awkward face twitch. And while I do have some odd habits I wouldn't say I wish I didn't have them.

However, there are some very serious traits I wish I didn't have. For instance, I have this really bad...I'll use the word habit here...of getting lost inside my own head, especially when I have a lot to do. I get really caught up in my never ending to-do list or thinking about some of the problems in my life or how tired and/or unfulfilled I am. And what's funny is none of these are really legitimate problems. I almost create the problem in my own mind and then get tangled up in it to the point I'm paralyzed and unproductive.

I feel like it's obvious as to why I wish I didn't have this habit and therefore this post needs no more expounding. However, I will state that I'm currently attempting to overcome this flaw, though with varied success.

I'll be back tomorrow!

-Jillian

A picture of you as a child

Okay, I'm was super excited for this day mostly because I adore this picture. This was taken in upstate New York where my family and I used to spend our summers.

For those of you who may not know (or may not guess) this smiling, adorable blonde is my older sister Jessica. We're only 18 months a part, which sometimes caused friction between the two of us. Plus, as you can probably see from the picture as well, we are pretty different, and not only in appearance. We spent most of our childhood and teenage years bickering and fighting, but then in High School we became friends. Our family had moved to a new town and with that came a new school. I spent a majority of the first year refusing to acclimate and the only reason I survived was because of Jessy. She helped me socialize and created a network of friends I could be a part of so I wouldn't feel completely alienated, making sure I was included in everything she was. When she graduated the next year I had come into my own in high school, mostly because she gave me the support and ability to do so.

Now she is married, has two beautiful children and is still one of the most inspiring women I know. Her husband is overseas with the National Guard and she's raising her babes with so much patience and love, all the while handing that incredible hardships with diligence. And amazingly, she manages to do so with the same sweet smile she has in this picture taken 15 years ago.

The meaning behind my blog name...

This one isn't too hard. Despite the fact I started this blog back in my Junior year of high school its purpose has always been exactly what it says: it's where my brain relieves whatever it's been holding inside of it, in no particular order. It's where my thoughts can flow freely from my fingers. Some people have art and crafts blogs or travel blogs or school blogs, but mine has never really had a theme, hence the word "random" in there.

As I've moved away from home it's become a tool to let my family and friends back home know exactly what I'm up to and why I'm so ridiculously hard to get a hold of sometimes. It's also nice because I don't have to call all my family and friends individually to tell them the same stories - they can just read them on here.

That being said, now that I've done the challenge for the day, I would like to say that I am very tired and have to write a midterm right now. However, I really do love being a TA.

I also fell down the stairs yesterday and it hurt more than normal. How do I have that comparison to normal, you may ask? Probably because I fall down the stairs to my bedroom once or twice a month. You'd think I'd be more careful by now, but I think the carpet's just out to get me. But last night I sliced open my toe, hyper-extended my elbow a little bit and fell on my butt, which is making it a little difficult to walk today.

In other news, it is February 1. If I can make it through this month I will be very, very pleased as things are looking up in March and April. Then I have a month and a half of spring classes before

COSTA RICA!!!

I am so excited for this. Like, SO excited!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Day 1 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts

This is literally the most recent picture of myself. It was taken Saturday night at Macaroni Grill. I had brought a bag of Pixie Sticks into work for all the servers and pretty much anyone who walked past the table in the back and Jorge was by far the most excited member of the team. He probably ate at least 15 himself. This picture was taken around stick #13. I thought the awesomeness that was our blue tongues deserved to be chronicled for posterity, so I whipped out my cell phone (making sure my manager didn't see and confiscate it) and snapped a picture.

15 interesting facts:

1. During the last 4 years I haven't spent more than 8 months in one place. The average time in one living location is 4 months.

2. I've switched my major about 6 times

3. I love puppies. Like, LOVE them.

4. I've spent an entire year in my life doing summer stock theater

5. I have a tendency to forget when my birthday is coming. I've spent the last month reminding myself it's getting closer.

6. I love painting my fingernails sapphire blue

7. Reading the New York Times makes me feel smart and sophisticated

8. Watching the State of the Union address was almost as exciting as Christmas.

9. If all goes well, this time next year I will be in Washington D.C.

10. If all goes well, in 4 months I will be in Costa Rica

11. I love brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts and pop-corn. They are what keep me alive.

12. I sing opera at work, at least to the guests. Usually I sing pop music otherwise in an attempt to get the songs stuck in other servers heads.

13. I really, really enjoy being a TA.

14. Sleep. Is. Happiness. Especially when falling asleep next to or thinking about a person you love.

15. I have the most awesome stuffed animal EVER. Which I do still sleep with on a nightly basis. It's okay, I'm almost 23...

An attempt at actually sticking to something

I have this problem where I start something and then end up not finishing it. I know most people have this problem, but with me it's less of a problem and more like a pandemic. I resolve to do things in myself - whether it be homework or running - and then fail to follow through. So in an effort to change that, I'm starting small: with a blog. It's fairly simple, more likely than not you've seen these things on others blogs, and I'm going to attempt to do it. Here is the list:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die
day 12- 3 things that people are always shocked to learn about you
day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- what do you consider your biggest success so far in life
day 16- a picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- name something you love about each season of the year and which is your favorite
day 24- post your favorite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your purse
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- what kind of books you read
day 29 - favorite tv shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again.

I like this one because it's personal without being awkwardly revealing. Plus, it'll be fun :)

So watch out blog-o-sphere. It officially starts tomorrow!

State of the Union 2011

You can rag on Obama however much you'd like, but that was an amazing speech. Yes, there were obvious holes and it will be interesting to see what he's going to have to stretch to deliver on his promises, but I'm proud to be American after that speech and what's more, I have hope for America's future.

But you wanna know the best part of that entire things was?

State of the Union 2012 - I'm going to be there!!

I just have to keep working for it. After all, "the future isn't a gift, it's an achievement."

Toodles!

-Jillian

Probably should've stayed in bed...

You know those days when you get out of bed, only to realize you probably should have stayed there?

Yeah....toooooootally my day today.

Snapshot of my life

Alrighty folks, I've gotta make this fast as I've got to be out of here and coding in fifteen minutes.

This is a week in my life:

I am taking 16 credits.

I'm working roughly 40 hours a week: 9 at a TA job, 11 at a job coding research, and somewhere around 20 at the Macaroni Grill.

I am in class on MWF from 8-11 and then 12-3. On TTh I have class from 9-10 and a class I'm TA-ing for from 1:30-3

I spend 5 and a half hours a week in an office waiting for students to come to see me while doing homework and writing quizzes to pass the time.

I wake up between 6:30 and 7 every morning and shoot for going to bed around midnight. I usually fail at this and turn in closer to 1, giving me somewhere between 6 and 7 hours of sleep a night.

I try to go running for a half hour two to three times a week.

I'm dating a kid who lives 45 minutes away and has been a complete gem during all this, driving down to see me more often than I drive up to see him. We've been making it about every other day, which I feel is amazing, considering the circumstances. A considerable amount of time is also spent talking to him throughout the day. It keeps me sane.

I spend roughly 11 hours a week pouring over government documents referring to practices about women and picking out facts and trying to fit them into one or more of the 300 some odd variables that we're supposed to be chronicling.

I find myself zoning out in class thinking about all the other things I need to accomplish.

I have my first test on Monday. It's in Geology.

I'm currently saving to go teach English in Costa Rica this summer.

I've begun looking at graduate schools and am feeling really, really intimidated at the prospect of applying.

Scholarship applications are due in a few weeks and I haven't started them yet.

I get to apply for Washington Seminar in less than 3 months! This is another thing I zone out over - thinking about the possible internship opportunites.

I'm already behind in my homework and we're only halfway through the 3 week. I think I have some catch-up to do.

I won't be able to do much of it this weekend as I'll be hanging out with my family or working, because Jess and the babes are down for the weekend!

And I managed to spew all of that out in less than 10 minutes. Which is why I win.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Does not play well with others

I've realized I'm a front row person. I prefer to sit in the front row of classes. I'm not sure if this is my need for attention from authority figures or if it's because I feel like I'll be less likely to text, surf the net, and sleep.

But you know what's annoying? Religion classes. Because it puts me with the elementary education majors and the marriage and family science majors who just giggle, so lovingly at fully at every little titter the professor says, like their laughter is freaking wind chimes, floating through the classroom.

I hate those people. There's one about two chairs down and she's just glowing with enthusiasm for this class and this professor and her life and everyone in this class. I want to punch her in the face. She's almost as annoying as the awkward kid sitting next to me earlier who laughed by inhaling, which resulted in him sounding like a complete ass (in the biblical way, of course. I am in New Testament after all).

I don't think it would be half as annoying if I didn't get the distinct impression that her wide-eyed sweet disposition is completely false. And I know what you're thinking, "Jillian, why are you labeling her this way?" and the answer is very simple. She was completely passive aggressive with the seating. I had my bag on a seat next to me, so she sat on the other side of my bag and a few minutes later one of her friends came in. Instead of being like "Hey, is it okay if you move your bag so my friend can sit here?" She made some offhanded comment to her friend (who had already found a chair a row behind her, so they were still able to talk and flirt or whatever the heck they were doing) about how she wished he could sit next to her, and then when another person comes by and asks me to move my bag - which I do - she makes another passive aggressive comment to the extent of "wow...I wish that had happened for you so you didn't have to sit so far away."

And now she's volunteering to pray and read all the scriptures out loud. And giggling obnoxiously. I mean, really?

I do not play well with others.