Love is not to be confused with adhesive tape

Aaaaah, good memories! I still haven't sent this out to anyone yet, but I love these pictures anyway. The best one is of Ben, Logan, and I think Steven. Ben is Nancy Drew.

So I just got back from baby-sitting. The kids were freaking adorable and half-Romanian actually. The youngest one - Tavi (short for Octavian) - looked like the classic Eastern European. He had this huge brown eyes and pale long face that just looked naturally melancholy. Even Anika looked like that, though she was smiling almost the entire time - not to mention bouncing off the walls. But yeah, it was fun. Especially with the whole "chocoalte at Safeway" thing. And of course, Ethan Andrew Jacobson was just plain adorable. I still can't decide if he's an ugly baby or insanely cute.

My life is somewhat boring right now. I haven't offically "hung-out" with anyone in the longest time. Don't get me wrong, I see them all the time, but never to just be with them and do something fun. Maybe I can start doing stuff...except probably not. When I don't have rehersal they're busy with something else. Our schedules just don't mesh.

Sad.

I've officially finished applying for BYU-I scholarships. Halelujah! That free's up a lot of time...not to mention takes off a lot of stress. Now I can stress about Bio and other fun stuff...like Calculus. *sigh* I wish I understood math. It's...but that's not important.

There's this really cool song I know and have been wanting to post it on here, but my format has been retarded on here so I haven't been able to write it down.

But I've got to go. I must go clean my room! And probably go to bed soon, since I'm going to church at 9 tomorrow.

I hope you guys - meaning MaeLee and Maegan and Jeff...maybe... - had an awesome time at All-State!

Toodles!

-Jillian

It's another obvious attempt on our lives. We have been saved only by the fact that I am enormously well-bred.

I feel so sick right now. It's not even cool. It's the weird feeling you get when you've done too many sit-ups and your abs are tight across your stomach, except I keep having stomach cramps too. I ended up having to leave church during sacrament meeting because I was feeling like pooh. It also doesn't help that I have the sniffles and sneezes and stuffy nose too...and if I finished this sentance correctly, I would sound like Dr. Suess. Ha...ha ha ha...anyway, everytime I sneeze or cough it just makes my stomach hurt even worse.

I ended up working on scholarship applications for BYU-I. I have most of the stuff ready, I just need to video-tape the actual audition. Except I need to find a theatre peice, but it shouldn't be that hard. And, once I get my EOU transcript sent in and pay the fee I have officially applied.

Why can't applying to college be easy? Just click once, and you're done?

Anyway, yesterday was fun, beside the whole feeling sick most of the time thing. I went over to the Scheonfelders and played around with Jackie until the game at three, watched it with MaeLee and Maegan (good job Jared! It was sweet, as were your shoes!), B.S.ed with Maegan and a little while with Raage, then watched the Varsity game (again, good going Jared!), then went home. Jackie called me up later to see if I wanted to do something, but I was feeling like crap, so decided not too. Though I am slightly peturbed that Raage took my guitar paper. I really wanted to work on it last night. And after all that crap with stealing stuff he makes off with it...*shakes head*

Hm...anything else interesting going on in my life? Not really. New classes start tomorrow. I have first with Raage and Jeff, second with Katleyn, third with...well, everyone, fourth with Dan, Isha, Meghan, Sam, etc, etc, etc...and then fifth with Beckah and Raage and probably a bunch of other people like Reed who managed to make it through the painstaking process of the La Grande High School math system.

My fingers are freezing. Mayhaps it's from typing. Or perhaps it's because I've spent the last few hours knitting. And watching some pretty good T.V. I watched this thing on the "Bible Code" where people are trying to figure out the hidden code in the Torah, and then there was this thing on the discovery Heath channel about people who inherit two complete sets of DNA. It was sweet. Now we're watching "Murder by Death" which my dad claims is the origional "Clue"

Anyhoo, I think I'm going to go now, and read some more of "Dragon Reborn" I've managed to read 450 pages of it - during finals week. How amazing am I? Anyhoo, I need to finish it and get it back to Raage before I damage it and feel completely wretched.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Sure, I may look asleep, but underneath this apathetic exterior I’m as alert as a gazelle.

This title completely describes this week. Except I wasn't as alert as a gazelle. Not by a far shot.

Anyway, I just got back from the Scheonfelders. It was fun. I hung out with Meghan and Jackie and a German exchange student from Germany...I mean Union. Obviously if she's a German exchange student she's from Union...I mean Germany. GAH! Ohmigosh, flashbacks to A.P. Comp today. I tried to write "sinus infection" and it came out "science competition." Man...I was having huge issues today. At least when it comes to communicating my ideas. What else happened today? I turned my Senior pictures in. Went to rehersal. Resisted the urge to dive tackle people and hug them. About passed out three or four times. Experianced vertigo several times. Ooh, and I got angry once, but what are you gonna do? I'll blame it on my lack of zzzz's.

Which reminds me that I need to get my Eastern transcript. And the odd thing is, talking about lacking sleep actually made me think of my transcript.

I think I might eat dinner. I had some Ramen before rehersal - which was fun because I was so unable to focus on anything...I think I messed up on every song, not to mention it was embarrassing having Mr. Jacobson pull me out in front of everyone, but that's a different story - but now I'm hungry again. I did steal some of Meghan's spaghetti...you know, I really don't like that word...spaghetti...actually, I do, it's just confusing to spell at times. I hate writing notes when I'm tired. I tried to write guillotine today and I couldn't do it. Raage - who I was writing the note to - had to tell me how to spell it. How sad is that? *shakes head* I'm pitiful, I swear.

Okay, leaving now.

Oh, one more quick announcement. 1ST SEMESTER AND FINALS ARE OVER! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

Toodles everyone!

-Jillian

Hello, my name is Alatáriël Nénharma, or, in flobbit land, Myrtle Sandybanks

Yes, I was trying to translate Latin and managed to stumble upon an elvish name translator that also linked to a hobbit name-translator.

It's the little things in life...

Anyway, I need to talk to Raage about the stupid essay. I would have done it today, but he looked like if I walked through the door at Exxon, he and his dad both would chop my head off. Or rather, he would chop my head off and his dad wouldn't stop him. Which, personally, I don't thinkthat's an enjoyable way to spend a Sunday evening.

I wonder if he would have used one of the Exxon squeegies to decapitate me. I think that would be slightly painful. Like on Harry Potter, how that one dude got his head chopped off with a blunt ax.

So I'm really tired. It's aggravating, really, because I seem to get enough sleep, but I'm always tired. Like, REALLY tired. It makes me angry. For instance, it's gotten to the fact that once I sit down I never want to get up again. For example, last night and today during church numerous times. And right now, the only reason I'm still rambling is because I'm too lazy to get off my duff and go to bed.

Oh, congratulations Baxter, on your new glasses. I look forward to seeing you in them. Or seeing them on you. Whatever is grammatically correct. Which reminds me, I should study for my finals. See, if I get A's on all of them, it will help my GPA. If I get B's or lower on them, it will lower my GPA. It's a rather precarious situations I've gotten myself into. I hate myself for it, but what are you going to do?

Do you think it's possible to have seasonal depression as a teenager? If so, I am totally moving somewhere where it's sunny 300 days out of the year. I don't care if it's a desert. I'm willing to live in excrutiating heat as long as I don't hit the winter blues like I have for the past few years.

You know, I hate having this whole "sense of trust" thing going on. The fact that I never feel like I can share peoples conversations or anything that they've said to me really dampers my conversations. It also doesn't help how people have emotional connections to other people, which hinders the whole "open discussion" thing anyway. Jeesh. Who invented emotions anyway? They're so pointless!

I'm feeling slightly goofy.

And I think I should sign off now, because I'm trying to instante message two people right now, and they won't leave me alone!

Ha...two guys won't stop talking to me. What's a girl to do?

Toodles!

-Jillian

If I'm so smart, tell me, why am I still so afraid?

So, yeah. There's so much going on in my head right now. I just want to scream and run away and beat someone up and cry and talk to someone. But I can't. I won't let myself. Why won't I let myself do what I want and what I need? Because, I can't stand to let anyone know I'm dependant on them. I'm so afraid that if I do it'll just...why am I like this?! I want to go talk but I know I won't let myself. I've tried so hard to get to the point I'm at right now and now all I want is to go back. I hate fighting with myself. That's all I seem to do. I want to talk, but I don't want them to know, they figure it out and then I clam up even though I'm crying to say what I want, I can't. I get so stuck in a mode that I can't get out of it.

I hate myself. I hate myself and I hate everyone else too.

Would you shut up? I’m trying to talk to myself here!

It's it too early to start a countdown for Spring Break? It's not so much that I want to get away from school - which I do, but what else is new? - but I want to do the road-trip thing! I talked to Nick about it briefly last night and I think we may actually do it, which will be incredibly awesome.

So right now I'm taking a break from my Bio homework. My head is swimming with thoughts of DNA and RNA and Fraenkel-Conrat and Watson and Crick and a bunch of other people who had something to do with discovering DNA. And thoughts of other things that I seem to be getting off on more and more. Which is why I've decided to sit here and write them down for a little bit.

Life is strange. Sometimes I feel like I'm in that one car commercial where the car drives by and everything changes around it. I feel like I'm the car, everything changing as I go by, but I stay the same. Things happen to those around me and those I'm friends with and all I can do is keep driving by. Then there are sometimes when I feel like life is passing me by. It's the whole "Best Two Years" Syndrome when Elder Rodgers is standing in the middle of the crowd and they all run past him about their lives without noticing him. And of course there are those times when everything just seems to be perfect, like a walk in the country when the sun is setting is just setting during the summer.

It's funny. I'm reading a book now that's too complicated to explain even in a reader digest version, but there's this one part in it that made me think about the drama's of high school. In a country called Cairhien they play this game called Daes Dae'mar and it's basically a political chess game. Who talks to who and what is said and who spends time with who and what they do is monitored and from that you tell alliances and the whole "my friends enemy is my enemy" thing applies and I read it and was like "ohmigosh! This is High School!" And I started laughing. It was a semi-malicious laugh of course, but still a laugh.

I don't like playing this game much. It gets too confusing. I figure I'll talk to who I want to, be nice to who I want to - which is basically everyone - and just do what I want. Unfortunately, I can't expect people to take this too well. There are people who I hang out with who seem to be so caught up in everything that they're determined to make my life miserable. I'll admit they succeed sometimes. Alright, a majority of the time. Luckily I still have people who don't get so caught up in that stuff that can make me feel better and realize what's really important.

Thank Heaven for those people.

I suppose since there's opposition in all things it only makes sense that there are those people who try and bring you down. You know what I don't like? I don't like people that have issues with you that they try and hide. It's funny, because I can usually tell when someone has an issue with me, and I think it's funny how they get so frustrated trying to be nice to my face and then explode when they're alone because they have this problem with me. I would personally rather talk to a person I have an issue with than put myself through that emotional wring-dryer of pretending to be fine. That's so last year. *rolls eyes* Ha...ha...okay, I'm laughing at myself here, and I'm sure I'm the only one because sarcasm doesn't transfer well in writing, and neither does the prissy girl voice that I heard that typed with in my head.

And I sound like I'm insane, so I'm shutting up.

Alright, I'm going to go finish up my homework. And I should probably come up with an idea for the whole Angela's Ashes essay.

Toodles!

-Jillian

We're not human beings have a spiritual experiance, we are spiritual beings have a human experiance

I think winter makes people melancholy.

Today was a strange day. I woke up feeling completely grouchy and angry. There was no reason for this. Last night was enjoyable, as was most of the day, but the joy of New Years Even didn't seem to run into the morn of New Years Day. I hope this isn't a forecast for the rest of this year.

Anyway, I went to church and flew on "Good Girl Auto-Pilot", something I've been using lately. But then we had Young Women's. It was honestly an answer to a prayer. And I just had this thought I had to share, because it makes all the difference to me, and if I manage to apply it in my life I know I'll be happier and a better person. After the lesson started this idea hit me so hard that it almost knocked the breath out of me:

If I spent half as much time working on and thinking and worrying about my relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ as I did dwelling on my relationships with friends, my life would be better and easier, less confusing and dramatic, more liberating and joyous. Happier.

More specifically, I wouldn't be plauged by the inadequacies that I've been feeling lately, I would be more open to the promptings of the spirit. I wouldn't worry about what others thought of me and I wouldn't let those thoughts affect my choices. And - the thing that seemed to bolster me the most - I wouldn't need to worry about what others thought, because if I focused on Christ I would be on the path Heavenly Father has planned for me. If that meant the people I was trying to please wouldn't accept me because I stop paying as much attention to them it wouldn't matter because then it wouldn't be part of Heavenly Fathers plan. I don't know if I'm explaining this right, but I hope you get my meaning.

So, for all of you having a hard time, and those that will go through hard times and have gone through hard times (I'm fairly certain that includes all of us, every single person in this world), just remember this and hopefully it'll help.

Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Doctrine and Covenants Section 88:63)

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land in the stars..or just float around in space awhile, wondering how you shot yourself off in a rocket

So, what to write. My sister's officially married. As my dad put it "I don't have to worry about her anymore, she's his responsibility." Everyone asks me how it feels to have a sister married and if I'm going to miss her. I'm always like "Hey, I get my own bathroom now, it's sweet!"

You know, I really hate it when people ask that. "How does it feel that you're sisters married and gone?" It's like they actually expect me to turn to them and bare my soul. Hello, I hardly know you. Even those that I do know fairly well I just look at them and smile, saying "It's weird, but I'm happy for her," all the while I'm thinking "Did you actually expect me to tell you what I'm really thinking and feeling? Puh, fat chance! Who do you think you are, anyway?" Which is rude, I'll admit. But I guess I'm sort of weird like that. There are only two or three people I'd be willing to talk to about it and be honest with. Luckily, none of them have really pressed me about it.

Oh, you want to know something funny? Actually, it's kind of sad, but I thought it was humorous. I was going into Wal-Mart today to buy needles and yarn (I'm attempting to knit a scarf...I'll probably be able to start it, it'll start twisting, I'll lose and add stitches all over the place, get INCREDIBLY frustrated, and finally just ask my dad to do it.) and there were these three girls coming out of the store. They were dressed very girly - sparkly belts that matched their purses that matched their shoes, cute little T-shirts and that were fluffy and feminine, and they're all walking out together - and all three are talking on Cell Phones. Seriously. All three. And I highly doubt they were talking to each other. They were just walking and talking to their phones. Am I the only one that sees the idiocracy in that?

Alright, so I think I'm going to go. I rented "The Interpreter" at Blockbuster and my parents and my Aunt and Uncle want to watch it. And it would be really nice if THE WHITTAKERS COULD CALL ME SO WE COULD PRACTICE OUR STUPID SONG THAT WE GOT ROPED INTO SINGING FOR TOMORROW'S PARTY!!!! But I'm not bitter. Oh, and Raage, I have a confession about your hair. And I was going to write it, but I realized you probably wouldn't read it, since you don't read the blogs unless we specifically tell you to and since I'll HOPEFULLY see you at the party - if you choose to grace us with your presence - I'll tell you then. And I still don't know why I'm writing to you since, as I stated above, you won't read this.

Oh well, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Toodles!

-Jillian

p.s. I suck at Video Games, and it makes me REALLY angry!

Just because you have a sports bra doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want! - Jessica Wheeler (Waite in three days!)

Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a Holly Jolly Christmas. I did. My dad taught me to knit and I've been trying at it ever since. Of course it's only been about 24 hours since the first "lesson" but I already have an issue. I somehow managed to double my original stitches. Dad doesn't get how I did it, and I sure as heck don't get it either.

Anyway, as most of you know already, I went to midnight mass on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Most of you are wondering why I went. I guess I don't have a concrete reason. I was driving past the church on Tuesday, saw the nativity and was like "that's cool, I wonder what Midnight Mass is like" and so I went. It was neat, but we decided that if we went to it again, we'd want to go to a traditional one.

I GOT AN AIR SOFT GUN FOR CHRISTMAS! Of course I still don't know how to use it. It's not working right, so I think I'm going to take it over to the Haynes's and see if they can show me what I'm doing wrong. I also need to run to Bi-Mart and see if they have the straightener I want so I can finally give Isha's back. I've had it for like, a month. It's sad really. I figure if I find it, I'll give Isha the new one and keep the old one. And I kind of want to go see Baxter's new "motorcycle" And I kind of want to do something tonight, but I'm too lazy to organize it. Don't you love it when that happens? *sigh*

Actually, I need to do my Bio, clean my room, ask Isha if I can borrow her "Angela's Ashes" (very important), and I want to read that one book I have...I think it's The Eye of the World, and knit some more. The one thing I hate about knitting is that when you do it, you really can't do anything else. You can listen and talk, but that's about it.

Anyway, I'd better go. Only three hours of daylight left!

Toodles!

-Jillian

p.s. I hate winter...

When I do push you away I hope there’s a little man behind you so you fall and hit your head

Ah, the wonders of being able to make Raage mad! I admit though, I do feel sorta bad about it. When we were doing it I realized he would be ticked. But what I think is funny is that Jared and Dan didn't think it was that bad. And - no matter how 'angry' he was - he didn't leave the second he got his stuff. They didn't actually leave until I told them to. And even then they stayed a few minutes more.

Anyway, to clarify what happened. *clears throat*

We had a bunch of people over tonight for a little Christmas get-together thingy. Everyone had left but Jared, Dan, Raage, and Isha. I had stolen Coopers keys and wallet, Jareds coat, and Raage's hoodie and hid them up in my room. Cooper had already left because he found his wallet and keys, but I was blackmailing Raage, Jared, and Dan - because Dan's a meesly sophomore and needs rides everywhere - that I would only give them their stuff if they helped me with my dishes.

They were stupid, and instead sat around in my living room with me and Isha, periodically wrestling with me and trying to watch TV for about a half hour. A half hour in which they could have been helping me with dishes, might I point out. But anyway, they finally leave to go to Jared's to play Halo (boys are such goobers...) and leave their stuff here. Basically what it was was Raage - who is more or less the leader of "the doofus squad" - wouldn't give in to me out of male-pride so they just gave up and left.

So me and Isha do the dishes then we're like "you know, we feel sort of bad. Let's be the bigger people and give them back their stuff." So we get their stuff and put it on. I wear Raage's hoodie and Isha wears Jared's coat. I was going to wear both, but it was freakishly hot. Anyway, we go over to the Haynes's, Sister Haynes let's us in and we go up to where the boys are playing. We stand their for a few seconds before I'm like "and they say there's no violence in the media"...and nothing happens. They don't even acknowledge us. They make some comment about "did you bring our stuff" or something, but basically they just keep shooting and killing whatever the heck boys kill when they play video games.

So now it's time for female pride to kick in. I can honestly say that if they had turned around and acknowledged our existence, we would have given their stuff back. It might have taken a while, but we would have eventually before we left. But no, this hurt the female ego.

Instead, we go into Jared's room and - with his mom's permission and his sisters help - take his M3P player, water bottle, and goggles, and we leave a note saying "hope you don't mind...we borrowed some stuff. Jillian y Isha, con amour!" We then go to Raage's car and - honestly - that boy has a boring car. Or at least it's boring now that me and Meghan cleaned it out. But that's beside the point. From his car we take a flashlight and - get this - a fire extinguisher. Something every teenager should have, of course. I know I carry one around with me wherever I go. In there, we leave a note that says "THIS IS WAR! p.s. thanks for the flashlight and the fire extinguisher." And the whole Jillian and Isha thing. And see, with Raage, when we took the flashlight I was like "hm...this probably doesn't belong to him, I'm going to get in trouble. ...Oh well, too late now." And of course, it turned out it didn't belong to him.

Oh, one more thing. We hid Dan and Raage's shoes. They were right there, I had to!

But anyway, about twenty minutes after I get home, they come in and they're acting all mad. I have a strange feeling they tried to pump themselves up. Then they attempt to chew me out, but my mom steps in, using church doctrine. You gotta love my mom. By the time they left it seemed like only Raage was still mad - which I sorta knew he would be. Again, I feel kind of bad, but hey, what's done is done.

I wish they had been more creative though. Couldn't they have attacked our rooms at night? Ransacked my car? Toilet paper-ed my house? or even gone in our rooms and taken some stuff? *sigh* boys are so unoriginal. Okay, maybe not boys. Kyle or Devin would have probably done something back. I think it's just these boys. They're so boring. Too bad I love them anyway.

Toodles!

-Jillian

I love you. I just can't stand to be around you

Hola! I've decided to be a non-conformist and actually post on my blog. ;)

Not much is going on. Just hanging around, waiting for things to happen. Which reminds me that I have to call Meghan and see if I can get the book back. And that I need to write a paper on Microbe Hunters (which I would reccomend to anyone interested in Micro-biology).

I'm going to try and finish reading Three Musketeers and Tale of Two Cities. And I have to read Angela's Ashes...once I find it. :-S

I'm supposed to go caroling again tonight. This'll make it time number five I think. I love caroling. I think we should get a gigantic group together sometime and just walk around so we don't have to carpool. That and it really is fun to walk while caroling. I think I'll look at the weather and see when it might be warm enough to walk around. Granted, we don't want, like, fifty people, because that wouldn't be caroling, that would be massing at people's houses (a massive mass of mass went to mass...haha...A.P. Comp, good times.) but I think fifteen or twenty would be okay.

Friday night was fun. I had my recital and then we had the Christmas Party and caroling. That was thrown together and I ended up sharing a hymnal with Raage and Jeff, which was toooooooootally fine by me ;). Actually, walking in the back of the choir group Friday during school was good too. I was completely surrounded by Basses and Tenors. It was suh-weet!

I'm excited for Christmas Break! Sleeping, reading, watching Chronicles of Narnia, playing checkers by the fake fireplace while listening to a skipping "Muppet Christmas Carol" CD. *sigh* AND, according to weather.com, it's supposed to snow a majority of this week. CAN LIFE GET ANY BETTER!? I can only think of a few ways to make it so, but for now it's good enough for me.

Hope to see you all soon! Ooh! I think we should have a caroling party where we go sledding afterwards - and, of course, hot cocoa. And maybe watching Muppet Christmas Carol, because it's the coolest Christmas movie EVER. Now I'm excited. WHOOPIE!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Canes are sexual creatures. Stick them in a box long enough, they're bound to reproduce!

Ah, Devin Frasier. Gotta love the kid.

Anyway, I've decided that my entire world has been flipped upside down. Everything that I always thought was right is now wrong, and I'm feeling soooooooooo guilty right now. It's so frustrating! This one thing has happened and it's just made my world spin and made me realize a lot of things about myself. Things that I really don't like and I have to apologize for. But the one person I really need to apologize too...I don't know how that'll go over. Well, actually, there are three people I feel I need to talk to, but two of them would be really weird, and I think the third will just think I'm stupid.

I never thought I'd find myself in this position. I completely set myself up for this and it's all my fault that it happened. But...ugh, I can't explain it! Anyway, I'm going to go make cookies that we can eat after carolling tonight.

Toodles!

-(a very confused) Jillian

I think I'm developing my personality. I'm finally able to dislike people instead of liking everyone!

Ah, that quote had to be the highlight of my day. And that just goes to show how much my day sucked. I managed to get everything turned in all right and not too much homework, just some bio that I can do at rehersal and anazlying an essay in A.P. Comp. But it still sucked. I got so bogged down with all the drama and crap that comes with High School. The "who likes who" and "who said what to who" and "who's talking to who" thing. Honestly, I don't care. Let's just all be friends and stop trying to hook up. And stop needlessly flirting. Okay, well, maybe not the last thing, because that would bring great saddness to my life, though I still contest that I don't flirt with Raage half as much as everyone thinks I do. Especially in choir. Out of the four times Jacobson said I was flirting with him, I was only talking to him twice. Talking, not flirting. Thank you very much.

You know, I feel really bad, but at the same time I feel really lucky. My day was going horribly and I treated this one friend kind of rotten, but they still felt the need to talk to me about it. And it wasn't one of those "wow, she's angry, better let her vent to get it over with" things. It felt like they really cared. And I feel bad because I never tell this person how much I appreciate them, and I really should. I guess that's the kind of relationship we have though. I don't know quite how to describe it, especially when my parents or someone else asks about it. We just sort of know there's something about the other person. I can't describe it exactly. We never ask how important or how much we trust each other. We just let things be. The only thing I'm ever sure of is that I'm really lucky to have this friend. Of course I'm lucky to have all of my friends. They're all incredibly awesome.

Anyway, I have rehersal tonight. Oh, but I have to tell you guys this. As most of you know I'm grounded for staying out an hour and a half past curfew (long story...too long and detailed to write on here). But what ends up happening is Raage left his sleds in my car and stopped by to pick them up. Like always, we end up talking (I honestly think the shortest conversation me and this guy had that's not just me calling to ask about an assignment - though now that I think about it, those end up being long too, but that's a side bar to my other side bar - has been twenty minutes, and that was when he was just dropping off a jacket at my house. Yeah, two talkative people should not get together...) and it's probably only been a few minutes and we're standing by his car parked by the side of my house, my mom comes out, we freeze as a joke so she won't see us and I won't get in trouble again, and she goes back in. I figured she saw or heard us anyway, it's not like Raage and I are incredibly quiet people. But maybe ten minutes later, Nick comes out and is all "Um, Jillian, you should probably go inside before your mom freaks out." And I was like "what? Is she angry?" and Nick said "yeah, she doesn't know where you are and she's calling Raage's house right now." So I sprint inside - I don't think I even said goodbye to Raage - and explained to my mom that I was there the entire time and I thought she had seen me and all I was doing was returning the sleds. Luckily for me, she calmed down. Though I don't get why she called Raage's house. Did she think I ran away or something?

Anyway, that's been the high point of my night. How sad is that? I've still got about forty-five minutes till rehersal, so I'll probably go read or something.

Toodles!

-Jillian

She's being all cuddly, and it's like you think she has cooties or something!

so we're taking a five or ten minute break before we start going over certain numbers again. Caroling this morning was really fun. It ended up just being me, Beckah, and Jeff because Steven had to take the SAT's (ouch!). It sounded really cool and we got free carmel popcorn, hot cocoa, oranges, and cookies. It was awesome. Especially since all the snow was attacking us. Like, seriously. If you guys looked outside today and saw how hard it was snowing from like, eleven till one, yeah, we were out in that. Jeff's hair was matted with snow. We'd go in a building and start singing, and because we'd be looking down the snow would melt and drip all over the hymnals. There was only once we totally lost it though. Jeff's hair dripped, then Beckah saw a deer wearing a santa hat or something, and I dropped the pitch pipe and me and Beckah cracked up. Jeff tried to save us by keeping going, but there was no point, it was totally gone. I was so close to crying from laughing so hard. Ha, and then we were running across main street and we jump on the curb...only to sink up to our knees in snow because it wasn't the curb at all. The three of us start screaming and jumping to try and out get and onto the actual sidewalk. The whole thing was really fun. And we discovered that Joy to the World moves into The First Noel really well.

Anyway, now rehersal. We got here late, but I only missed one song. And I think I may have to leave now because I think my time's up. Alright, I'll finish this later!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Beware the lollipop of the opposite gender, it may be tempting, but once you try it you'll suck forever

hello everyone! I hope everybody had a super-happy turkey day. Mine was good. Hanging out with the Waite's in Pilot Rock. Bet most of you don't even know where that is, but that's okay, because I do.

So I'm happy right now because IT'S SNOWING! WOOHOO!!

So I read the Davinci Code this weekend, and if I tried I could probably finish Tale of Two Cities and I've read some hundred and fifty pages in The Three Musketeers and started Treasure Island. I bet you can tell what I've done with my weekend, huh?

So Harry Potter was a blast. Not only was it good, but I haven't been to the movies FOREVER either, so it was sweet. I think we should get a group together and watch The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when it comes out. Whether or not we do, I'm going to be there.

I listened to the game today. It was slightly depressing. If we had just completely lost it would have been better, but it was painful! If only the game had kept going the same way it was before halftime! *tear* Oh well, it's very saddening, but bastketball season begins pretty soon - a week and a half I think - so it's okay. Gah, now that I'm thinking about it, I may have to go grab some more chocolate. I had my mom buy me some after the game finished. I feel bad for the boys though, too. Not only did they lose, but now they have to travel back an unheavenly amount of hours on a bus, going through Cabbage and Meacham, which has to suck, seeing how it snowed here.

I think that's all I have to say. I'm going to go finish making my Spice Cake with Cream Cheese frosting and try and make some headway on Tale of Two Cities. Has anyone besides me read Dickens? If you haven't, you should, but do it when you have a lot of time and are able to concentrate, because if you do it when you've got other important things to do you're just going to get angry. This man...I swear he got paid by the page. You'd think Duncan would hate him, he adds so much superfluous information to his stories! Seriously, do I need to read a page and a half on how the guy identified as "the tall man" sleeps? No, I don't. *sigh* I wonder if "A Christmas Carol" is any better. I hope so.

Toodles!

-Jillian

The cripple boys...we should start a band!

So the football game kicked total trash. Haaaaaaaaaaaa...thinking about it still gives me an adrenaline rush. Again, I know I've said it like, fifty thousand times, but if I was this excited about the game I can't even begin to imagine what the players feel like. Holy Crap! Though I did about wet my pants there for a second when it looked like we were going to lose. That was not cool.

But Fall Ball was awesome too. It was really fun to go with Raage and everyone else in the group. Except for the whole my mom calling his mom and the flashing lights thing. *rolls eyes* Jeesh...my mom sometimes...but honestly, it was so much fun. I learned I was a horrific liar, but that I'm really good at telling half truths, I can line dance in GIGANTIC heels, and that talking in a really loud room means you have to either talk right in their ear or be a few inches away from them. That, and don't sit down if you're really tired. You'll never get up.

Anyway, everyone else is gone on a choir thing. I managed to skip out on it, my mom wanted me to stay home. But today was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. I went out to lunch with Dan and Raage - though I felt bad that we forgot about Jared, but it ended up being fun anyway. I basically tortured Raage all day (HA! It's so much fun to turn the tables on him!) But unfortunately when we got the A.P. Comp assignment I was talking to him so I didn't hear what it was. Which means that I'm up a creek without a paddle. Actually it just means I have to call Raage and see if he heard it and if he didn't...yeah, no one else that I have a phone number for was there. See, that would suck.

I'll probably have to call Dan too, because I'm totally not getting Bio. All of a sudden Mr. Wright decided to tell us that Chapter 10 is due. Which sucks for me, since I hadn't started it until an hour ago. And I have to finish the lab write-up. Which shouldn't be too hard, I can probably get away with doing it in Spanish and just copying Raage's work, even though he hates it. I'll just have to remember to be nice to him tomorrow. That's almost as fun as being mean to him. :-D

Anyhoo, I hope you all had an awesome time on the choir thing. Oh, if you were wondering, during choir we went and chilled in the library, and I got into a tape fight with Dan and the new guy. That was basically it. Oh, and if you're in A.P. Comp, you missed the BEST class today...I about made Mr. Duncan cry, he actually had to leave the room because he was laughing so hard. And I got a 17 out of 20 on the vocab test so I might try it again tomorrow. But as for now I'm stuck writing a paper for Non-Fiction. *Sigh* SO MUCH HOMEWORK!

Toodles!

-Jillian

I've come to the realization that football jersey's weren't made for girls who have hips...

So yeah, here I am, sitting in my computer chair wearing Raage's jersey and laughing at myself. You know, guys wear pads, you figure it wouldn't be that hard to fit into a guys jersey. And for the most part, it's not. Except for the hips. I've always known guys didn't have hips (except for Jeff, maybe, I've seen those suckers, they're pretty big) but I don't think I realized till now what that meant exactly. It meant that they can wear shirts that are cut straight, which football jersey's are. So I looked at myself in the mirror wearing the jersey and laughed. The chest area's fine, thanks to the help of a sports bra and the fact that guys wear pads up here. The waist is even good. But the hips? Holy crap...

That's my uninteresting rant for the time. I can't think of anything more creative to say, so I'm going to sign off.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Estoy muy cansada, pero amame mi amor!

Okay, this is the best we got of him. If you can see the expression on his face there's a very simple explanation. I'm wearing roller-skates and am about to fall on him. Seriously. This happened, like, five times that night. I fell on EVERYONE. Though technically I only fell twice, but only once on the roller-skates. Either way, Raage won the bet. (This whole paragraph was added later, with the picture. Just fyi :D)

You know, that sentence is probably so incredibly wrong grammatically, but since Raage's not going to read this to correct me, I'll leave it as it is.

I'm listening to Juanes "Mi Sangre" right now, and it's really cool. Like, I'm freakishly obsessed with it and I probably will be for another week.

Anyway, referring back to my title, I am so fetchin tired. I wonder what I'll dream about tonight (ha, the song I'm listening to is called sueno. Awesome...) Last night I dreamt I was at a football game with Raage and he was talking in Spanish some of the time and we were listening to my Spanish CD, and then (something I just remembered that I'll have to tell him about later) we were going to fly somewhere, like, we were trying to buy airline tickets and we were in an airport.

And all this comes from working on our spanish skit on traveling while listening to the spanish CD before I went to bed. But I can honestly say I wasn't thinking about it before I went to bed, and I went to bed three and a half hours after he left, so I'm not quite sure how that happened.

We're supposed to sing in 1st ward tomorrow. I'm kind of looking forward to it because we haven't been able to sing a lot lately, since the last time we were going to do it I got a little side-tracked.

So, has anything interesting happened the past two days? Not much, except getting high off of garage smells or paint...or me and Beckah just being weird. I swear I've spent more time at the Whittakers the past two days than I have at my own house. But I must admit that the dance looked really cool, and it seemed like people had a fun time. I would've had a fun time too, except for the whole "dead man walking" syndrome I was suffering from. I was faking energy until halfway through, and then I just stopped. I had no more motivation. I even took off my skates again. Course, that was actually because my feet were hurting, but hey, it works.

Now I'm just waiting for my dad to come home so we can finalize the disk with the pictures from the dance so I can show Maegan the picture of Raage that I think my mom might've taken. She took some awesome ones of me and Andrea, a.k.a, the hot girl from Baker too. The two of us were dressed almost identically. I'll probably re-post this tomorrow with the picture on top.

Alright, I'm going to go and maybe get some food, even though I feel sort of sick to my stomach.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Washington is Hollywood for ugly people

Dude, it's been FOREVER since I've written! Holy crap! It's been like, two weeks! And what a full and fun two weeks they have been. The football game (both of them), Honor Choir, working on the Macbeth skit, Stake Conference, getting ready for the dance, and getting ready for the OTHER dance - namely Fall Ball, plus homework and stuff like that, but the last part wasn't all that fun.

Ha, I'm listening to Alter Boyz right now, and it's so awesome. It's about a Christian/Catholic boy band...the guys in it are named Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan (he's spanish), and Abraham...who's a Jew. It makes me happy.

I'm really tired. I could write a lot more here - obviously as two weeks have gone by there' s a lot going on, but I don't have the energy to write it, or the time...besides, I think it would be really boring and INCREDIBLY long. So I think I'll just end it like this and start blogging regulary again...maybe.

Toodles!

-Jillian

GO YELLOWCARD!!!

Ohmigosh, I just had to have had what is considered to be an obscene amount of fun. It's too long of a story to type right now (I have to leave in like, a half hour for the football game and I still have to get dressed and all that junk :P) but I'll just say it involved forgotten homework, papers from my locker, junk from my car, both the J.V. and Varsity football teams, Tom McKinney, Raage, the Varsity football moms, some random band kids, two miscellenous peoples lockers, and a lot of loud music. It was SWEET! I'm still riding on the high of it and we got back to Meghan's house at like, five or a little thereafter.

Anyway, I should probably go. I love you all! Hugs and kisses!

Toodles!

-Jillian