10 Secret Confessions

1) I really like to be called girl.  I don't know why, but when a guys calls me that it brings a little flourish of butterflies to my tummy, and I love it.

2) I don't like West Yellowstone.  In fact, I mildly loathe it.  I could never willingly bring myself to spend more than 4 months here, and that's only if 2 of those months are spent in a dark theatre, rehearsing with all the free soda and popcorn I can consume.

3) I have this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've been fighting down for the past two weeks that I'm supposed to go back to school this year, and that I'm going to be making some changes, hanging out with different people, meeting more people.  It's been interesting talking to Critter the past few weeks and learning about all these people that I know of, but don't actually know.  It makes me want to get to know them, and everybody else, much better than I already do.

4) There's also this odd feeling I have that I'm going to be doing some intense, fast, but not necessarily painful growing up this next year, as a performer as well as a person.  It's kind of exciting.

5) I like talking to people, one on one, or at least in a small group.  It enables you to ask questions you wouldn't be able to otherwise.

6) I hate when people ditch out on plans.  If you were invited to do something and said you were going to do it, than do it.  I don't care if something more fun or more interesting comes up, once you've given your word stick to it.  

7) I'm really REALLY upset I'm missing Jillian's wedding.  Like, a lot.  It's kind of killing my soul a little.  She's still one of my best friends and I'm not going to be there to celebrate her making that life changing covenant.

8) It used to take a lot to annoy me.  Now I get bothered very easily.  Seriously.  I've never wanted to punch so many people in the face in my life.

9) There are only 4, maybe 5 people I think I'll miss when this summer ends; there's only one, maybe two that I'll have withdrawals from and go out of my way to keep in contact with and visit.  Which is weird for me.  And it's not a problem with this cast, not at all, they're all amazing people.  I just don't know most of them that well.  I don't think the opportunities have really arisen to genuinely care about them.  I suppose that's what happens when we all live on top of each other.  You take the others existence for granted.  

10) I really like doing Footloose now.  I used to hate it, but for some reason now I love it.  Though, as silly as this sounds, being onstage with Critter intimidates me sometimes.  I feel like he's judging me even though he never says anything.  Very few people affect me like that, and I hate it when they do.  It drives me batty.  

Toodles!

Jillian

I'm going back to Jackson!

I never realized what a tender spot Jackson held in my heart until this summer.  West isn't a bad place, I just don't know it as well and there's nowhere I can run for cheap milk.  

That being said, I'm going to tell you a little bit about why my life is awesome right now.  

1) I went out to the lake yesterday.  Twice.  The first time I went with Julia, Stacey, Critter, and Sam and it was amazing, just what I needed to pull me through this week.  We laid out on the docks, built sand-castles, and most importantly, destroyed said sand-castles in the style of Godzilla, while catching it on tape.  We were all there for about an hour and a half, but then they all headed back so they could get ready for the show and such.  I didn't have to be back for another hour so I stayed out on the dock, sunbathing, swimming, and talking on the phone to Fune, who I miss dearly.  After a few more dips in the lake I headed back and did a show.  Afterwards Jenny and I headed back to the lake and we went skinny dipping, a first for both of us.  It wasn't really skinny dipping.  More like skinny jumping into the lake and getting out as fast as possible because it's a little creepy to be alone in the woods at night.  But it was wonderful nonetheless.  

2) I'm going to Jackson this weekend to see friends.  I know for a fact I have to go to Billy's Burger and Bubba's, but the rest of the places are a toss up.  I need to spend a week there just to eat all the food I want!  PLUS I get to see Becca and Emily!  I love those girls so so so much!  They inspire me so much and always seem to keep my head on straight.  

3) Last Sunday was the Walker 4th of July extravaganza and it was brilliant.  I rode on a dirt-bike and a 4-wheeler and played some intense games of horseshoes and croquet.  And yes, I realize the last part of the sentence makes me sound like I'm 75 with blue hair, but it really was quite fun.  Also, during part of that extravaganza Jenny and I had to run to I.F. to buy some stuff and we stopped to jump into Rigby lake and spent the rest of the night looking like washed out bohemians.  

As of right now I'm chilling at the cowhide place, attempting to sell dead animal skins.  And yes, it is as glamourous as it sounds.  It's free YNP weekend so all the tourists who are here aren't looking to spend any money on anything if they can help it, let alone drop $250 for a cowhide.  Oh well, it gives me time to blog.

So the entire cast at the theatre is attempting not to get sick.  Two night ago there was a family of about 40 who came to Secret Garden.  They're all sharing a cabin up in Island Park, but apparently the sharing a cabin idea isn't such a hot one, as about half the family has the flu.  That's right, the flu.  At least 4 kids puked at the show Thursday night, but I've heard as many as 8 actually vomited on our carpet.  It was ridiculous.  All the women are wearing these long flowing dresses and as we're running on and off-stage we're busy jumping over piles of puke.  It was not a happy time for us.  The best part was at least two of the kids who threw up stayed for the entire show.  And we had to shake hands with them afterwards.  *shudders*

That's pretty much all I have to say right about now.  I'll probably post Tuesday or Wednesday with tales of amazingness from Jackson!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Cause I'm a Woman, W. O. M. A. N.

I have lots of thoughts running through my head right now, so I'm going to purge them onto the computer screen.  

I've discovered I'm happiest with good friends and good conversation.  I'm okay as long as I have one or the other, but for the most part they're best together.

Harry Potter was beautiful and it was a good time to watch it too.  It's been long enough since I read the book that I'm not completely aware of what they left out, but I know enough to fill in the gaps that were left by the script.

I've decided we all like Guys and Dolls the best because the characters we play are all people we'd love to be but can't.

Dad's by himself up here and I'm hoping he's okay.  I haven't heard from him for a day or so.

I love Critter.  It makes me so happy to have a guy friend where there's no attraction involved on either end and we can honestly just enjoy each others company.  He's like an older brother to me - except one that I have to kiss on occasion.  

I get to see Becca and Em this weekend!  I'm so excited!  The only thing that would make it better was if Mel and Danica and Jillian were there too!

Tonight's Footloose.  I'm actually excited to do it because so far the camp kids have never really seen me sing or anything and they know everyone else really well from workshops and such.  That and sometimes Footloose is actually fun to do.  We'll just see how it goes with me running on 5 hours of sleep doing a double.  

I'm at work right now.  I haven't sold a cowhide in days and it kind of drives me insane.  I really don't think it's anything I'm doing.

I ate so horribly yesterday.  I have 2 pastries for breakfast (thanks Frank!) a wrap, 2 chocolate/caramel dipped marshmallows, half a box of whoppers, some popcorn, half of box of gobbstoppers, cake, and rootbeer.   The wrap was most definitely the healthiest part of my day as sad as that is.  

Yesterday was Jenny's birthday.  I feel bad because I didn't know until Frank told me yesterday around 12.  Today's Hannah's birthday, which means we're going to eat more junk food.

I got new pre-show songs!  I just have to finish memorizing them and then I'll whip 'em out, probably on Friday so I'll perform them on Saturday.

I get to go to Jackson this weekend!  Assuming it's okay with Em of course.  I'm so excited for the eating to begin!  I'm thinking Norah's, Bubba's, Jedediah's, Sidewinders, and quite possibly Merry Piglets.  But there are only so many meals in a day, so we'll see how it goes.

Last night Jessica made a comment that Kelly feels sort out like she's not included in a lot of things, but I think we all feel that up here.  We're all selfishly minded to an extent and don't often think of others or how they're feeling.  It's something me and Jenny have been talking about for a while.  Whenever I do things fun I try to include other people in them.  Usually though I don't do things just because I don't think anyone would want to go along with it.

That being said, Jenny and I went swimming this weekend.  We were all down in Rigby for the Walker 4th of July extravaganza (which was great fun, by the way) and I needed to go to Wal-Mart.  But on the way to I.F. from rigby there's a lake on the side of the road.  So Jenny and I went swimming in our clothes and were forced to buy new ones.  But it's okay, because the dress and scarf I bought are adorable.

I hate how dry and cracked my hands are up here.  And I need to clip my nails.

I'm halfway through my shift at work right now.  Then I get to go home and shower, then head to the theatre and have the little chillin's audition for me and Dave for the variety show tomorrow.  

I put an eyeliner scar on my head last night and danced around with a wand.  It was awesome.

No one's come into the shop for the past half hour.  People have talked about it as they walked by but no one's walked in.  Pooh.  This is why I don't sell cowhide's.

Today is payday.  Maybe I'll make it a pit stop in Rexburg this weekend and deposit the check.  I doubt they even have a bank in Ashton.  

I'm hungry, but I'm trying to decide if I want to wait until I go back to the mansion and make a legit breakfast or if I want to eat my smushed Pop-Tart.

Julie has a crush on Critter but he just wants to be friends.  It kind of makes me sad.  He's just very picky about who he likes.

I think it's weird when people carry grudges from high school.

Toodles!

-Jillian