A query

I would like to use this specific blog to ask a question. I want everyone to weigh in on it, especially my family, using scripture, definitions, talks, their own feelings, any insights you might have.

What is the difference between blind faith and perfect faith?

One of my friends and I were discussing another individual today and this question came up. Perfect faith sounds to wonderful, but blind faith sounds horrible. Unfortunately, I can't figure out what separates the two.

"I wish we could sing Primary songs more often!" - Emily

So here I sit, backwards in a chair, wearing a tank top, two sports bras, basketball shorts and covered in sweat. I finally went running (I've noticed I tend to do this on Friday's, my day off) and it feels good...except that my asthma medicine hadn't had time to take effect so my lungs are sore and feel hallow. I'm still proud that I managed to do it though.

I'm waiting for Jillian (it's a different one, Jillian Mouritsen, but we've decided we're identical twins except we look nothing alike and we're not twins) to come down from sewing costumes and then we're going to head to the river to develop sun cancer. I'm quite excited. I miss being in the sun!

Last night was so much fun though! Our home teachers came over and it was a little awkward because Emily has a past with Jeff and Ami and Kai are still doing their thing and for a while there Kai didn't get along with Jillian. But it was good and Jeff gave a good thought. He ended up sticking around a while and Becca came home and Mel came over, so the 6 of us (becca, mel, me, emily, jeff, and ami; kai had gone home and Jillian was talking on the phone to Kimball) were just sitting around and someone said something that reminded us of a primary song. This led to us talking about how Becca and I randomly sang the hello song yesterday, which led to seeing how many Primary songs we could remember. It was actually really fun. We went through all the action songs, the "Once there was a Snowman" and "book of Mormon stories" but we also sang some of the nice ones, like "Families can be Together Forever." It was really cool. I think we ended up singing for over an hour.

But alas, Jillian is here and so we must fly away to be sun worshipers.

Toodles!

"The five-paragraph essay is overrated!" - Austin

So I'm beginning to realize that a lot of my quotes come from Austin recently, and I believe that mostly has to do with the fact that I'm spending a lot of my time around him. Half of this is from choice, the other half is because we work together and are required to spend two hours walking around town and singing two or three times a week, not including the time we spend at the theatre. He's an interesting person. I refer to him as the energizer bunny, because that kid just keeps going and going and going. Which isn't bad, in fact, it's nice sometimes. Yesterday he and I had a 45 minute or so long conversation about how we behave around other people when it comes to talking behind someones back and what is and is not acceptable to say to someones face. He made some interesting points I hadn't thought of before and I think he understood where I was coming from in a lot of situations. But then there are times when he'll go on about selling retail or how BYU's football team sucks and how the Utes are so much better. ...I don't really care about that. However, he is entertaining me right now by texting me knock-knock jokes so I don't die from boredom here at the kisok.

In other news, I met a couple from Union last night! They actually run a physical therapy clinic down by EOU. It was so nice to talk to people from home. I talked about the college and how La Grande was the real west and everything. It was super nice to have that familiararity.

Also, I've realized this summer that theatre is something I really don't like to do. Singing, yes. Performing, sort of. Theatre? Not so much. I just don't get a thrill out of doing it. No excitement, not tingling, so bated breath for the next chance I get to go onstage. I've actually come to dread night-time performances. I don't like them. There is not a show here that we're doing where I actually think "Oh goodie! Now I get to do this show!" And I can't see me feeling that way about a show, especially one that has a long run.

Speaking of runs, I really want to go running. Lately though, I haven't been going to sleep until three or so in the morning so the idea of waking up and going for a run before I head to work is not apealing to me, but usually by the time I get home after a show I'm either hanging out with someone or I'm tired and don't want to go running and get wired and not be able to fall asleep. So I'm thinking I'll go running Friday when I don't work and all I have to do is go rafting down the river. Thank heavens for days off!

Anything else going on? Not really. Jillian broke up with her boyfriend (yay!). Austin broke up with his girlfriend (boo!), and I'm trying to decide whether Luke or Ami has had more action this summer. Luke had his girlfriend (now ex-ed for a while), Jillian, Ami, and Becca. But Ami had Kai, Kelsey, and Luke. Of course, that's just all I know about. So I think Luke has had more, actually. I don't think I'll tell Jillian that.

Oh, and my stuffed animal, Dougie, has ended his relationship with Maxwell the Sheep. It was a long time coming. They were together for about 24 hours before Maxwell took up with a finger-puppet frog that Jillian had. Dougie has since turned straight and is now in the hunt for a female-dog who likes eccentric feminine male-dogs.

And I really have to pee, but I've got twenty more minutes here in this cursed Kiosk.

I've come to the realization I'm happy being single. I'm not the kind of person who can emotionally be involved in a fling but physically, I don't know if I could handle a serious relationship that lasts a long time. I think that's why I'm the way I am, how I have to be friends with a guy first. I have an odd feeling that once I do find myself in a relationship again it'll only last a while before we either break up or get married. Ew. Marriage. Ick-ah.

I've been listening to the same four songs on this stupid computer for the past hour and a half. I think I might shoot myself. No, because I look cute today and I would splatter blood all over my white shirt. I was planning on doing something tonight, I can't remember what, but I think I might just hang at home with the girls and chat it up. The three of us haven't been together and just talked for a really long time. At least not since Jillian's break-up. That needs to be done.

I went bum-tubbing last night with Danica, her sister Cassidy, Austin, and Aaron. It was a surprising amount of fun actually. We got there around midnight and headed home around 1:30. Danica and I had a running joke that we couldn't leave Cassidy alone with the boys. We have our reasons, of course. She's very cute and just out of High School.

That's all I can think of right now. Except that I have to pee of course. I wish we were doing Singin' tonight instead of Sheriff. I can get away with doing very little for Singin' but not with Sheriff, and my headache is coming back. I need to be inside away from the allergens...

Toodles!

-Jillian

"He is so fired." - Aaron Cole

More story time from the Pink Garter!

So, yesterday on street there was an, um, interesting happening.

We're doing what we do, singing and smiling and having a gay old time while toting the Pink Garter name as "The Singin' Cowboys" (and yes, I know I'm not a cowboy, I'm a girl, haven't heard that one before). We stop behind The Sweetwater Resteraunt and sing some "Cigareets and Whooskey" for them and a lady offers us a tip. Aaron turns it down, of course, and I give the lady a pamphlet and we keep walking. I hear Austin going off about something in the background, talking about the tip. I assume he's making a big deal about Aaron turning it down and I get a little annoyed. Number one he's supposed to be singing, number two he makes a big deal out of a lot of little things, and three I can't technically say anything to him about it because, even though I'm a street leader, he makes it into a bigger deal because he thinks I'm personally attacking him. Eventually we finish our song and I turn around and make some comment about it not being good that Aaron didn't accept the tip and I realize something interesting that I hadn't noticed before (because I was doing my job singing and only half listening to what Austin was talking about). Austin was giving Brannon a hard time because he'd grabbed the money from the lady after Aaron had turned it down.

There are two important things you have to realize about Brannon and Austin. 1) Austin likes picking fights with Brannon. 2) Brannon has a quick-fire temper and has a hard time managing anger. They've been in fights before, sometimes purposefully started by Austin, most of the time accidental. It's basically because Austin enjoys repeating himself quite a bit, which is nice because it means he's not being misunderstood, but it also tends to wear on you when you're having a fight with him. He won't drop it (unless it's me apparently, but that's a different story) which just tends to make the person he's fighting with angrier. Brannon just has a hard time admitting he's wrong.

So, what ends up happening is we finish singing and Austin's been making fun of Brannon for a while and suddenly Brannon says something and you can tell he's pissed. Everything gets tense. Austin keeps going though, saying it was stupid for Brannon to have taken the money. He doesn't mean this maliciously and he's not really looking for a fight, he's just stating his opinion...a lot.

Brannon just stops and says "Why don't you just come back here and say that to my face." Austin counters by stating that he was saying it to his face. A few more words were exchanged and Brannon pushes Austin.

Brannon's a big guy. Austin's a little guy. It was a silly thing and luckily it pretty much ended there. Somehow or other though, Brannon is still working at this theatre. It's kind of hypocritical really, when you think of all the crap he gave Jeremy when his altercation with Kai happened. He just walks away and apologizes, saying it won't happen again. Will it? I hope not. Knowing the two of them, it will. It's only a matter of time before it blows up again.

"I'm chubby and drive a mini-van. I just can't pull off that menace to society thing." - Me

So today I have a story. It is the story of Jillian getting pulled over twice in one week. I would like to preface this story by stating that I have never hit anything that was moving, or been in an accident and that it was my mother that taught me to drive.

I have been pulled over 7 times in my life. This has spanned 4 states and includes 4 different cars. Of the 7 times, 5 have been for speeding. In our company so far, 7 people have been pulled over this summer. The results from those have included arrests, and hundreds of dollars worth of tickets.

So last week, Thursday to be exact, I'm driving my friend Jillian down to Idaho Falls for a dermatologist appointment. It was early in the morning, around 8. We'd left a little late and I knew there was construction up ahead on the road, so I was pushing it a little bit, going 72, I think, in either a 65 or a 55 zone, I couldn't remember which. Well, it turned out it was a 55 zone. A cop flips his suburban (cops drive suburbans up here, no wussie impala's for them!) around, flips on his lights, and I get pulled over. Ami had been asleep in the back, her hair tousled from left over pin curls from Singin' in the Rain the night before, Jillian had shot-gun and while she had taken a shower, she had no make-up on and her hair was hanging limply around her shoulders. And I, the fearless driver of my sleepy comrades, was wearing no make-up with my hair rolled in pastel foam curlers. This is what the police officer sees when I roll down my window and give him my license. He asks where I'm going and I tell him the truth. He cracks a joke about my foam curlers and I laugh. He asks for my proof-of-insurance and registration. I knew I had them in the same place (a compartment under my stereo) but we couldn't seem to find it (the compartment and therefore the necessary papers) at that exact moment. The police officer laughs, makes another joke about my foam curlers, tells me he's going to run my license and to just keep looking for my other papers. Eventually we find the compartment, forcing it open, only to find my proof of insurance is outdated and I need a new one. This should have been enough to get me a ticket, but somehow I managed to get off with just a verbal warning (and yet another crack about my curlers) and we were on our way to Idaho Falls.

Needless to say people in the cast were a little upset that I got off so easy. But only a few know what happened last night.

I was driving over to the guys apartment at around 1:30 in the morning to pick up Jillian and to hang with their dog for a while. The strip in Jackson has a speed limit of 35, but I'm on auto-pilot and I find myself going about 50. I realize this and start slowing down, but it was too late. A suburban behind me starts flashing lights and I pull over obligingly. This time I've managed to un-stick my console and have all the necessary papers ready. I roll down the window and he asks where I was going to quickly. I tell him I'm on my way to pick up a friend at another friends house. He asks if I had just gotten out of the shower (I had and was, ironically, about to foam curl my hair.) I explain my proof-of-insurance is out of date and I just need my parents to send me the updated one. He looks at the old one, says he trusts me, then hands me back my insurance and registration and explains that he's not going to give me a ticket this time, but he did have to go run my license. I'm not going to lie, I was a little afraid that something would come up and say that I'd been pulled over twice in less than a week and he would change his mind about the ticket thing, but instead, he comes back up to my car, hands me my license and lets me know that I technically have to get my license plates changed. Like I'm really going to do that.

Either way, that's twice that I've been pulled over because of speeding in the past week. Austin says I get out of the tickets because I'm a girl, and I say, if so, good for me. Men may get traffic tickets, but we women have to go through childbirth. Anyone wanna trade?

-Jillian

"Shut the f*** up!" - Austin

So here I am. After a 6 month hiatus from my blog, I've recieved requests to start writing again. Okay, so not really requests, that makes it sound like people love reading what I write. What it really comes down to is I'm a horrible person to try and keep track of, so this way my family and friends can actually see what's going on in my life. So without further adieu, let's begin!

As most of you probably know, I'm working at the Pink Garter theatre in Jackson Wy. It's been an interesting experience. The shows are pretty solid and we're over halfway through our performances. To stop things from being too completely complicated, since I'll be dropping names and I'll want you to know who they are and my feelings about them, I'll give you a brief and honest run-down of the people in the 2008 company:

Boys:

Austin- Will Parker and Cosmo Brown. Also runs half the backstage-crew for Sheriff. He and I have personality problems. While I would like to sit and talk them through so we can get along, he would rather just apologize for them and pretend they didn't happen, which just leaves them idly by until something else happens that causes us to have another blow-up. These blow-ups usually have a few days between them and involve lots of sore feelings and more often than not, swearing. He's dramatic, rude, stubborn, prideful, likes to listen to himself talk more than others, insecure, analytical, critical of everyone, and hypocritical. Just like me. There are times when he can get genuinely nice and sweet, he's self-taught on piano and guitar and dances really well. I would like to be friends with him but there's only so much I can do.

Aaron- Ali Hakim, Ensemble, and Daniel Beau Jenny. He also understudies pretty much everyone. Part of the reason why I'm so hot on talking through problems with Austin is because last year, through a series of miscommunications, false-assumptions and a lot of jumped conclusions, Aaron and I didn't get along at all. We talked through it this year though and now he and I get along fine. What you see is what you get with Aaron. He's a sardonic dork who thrives on non-conformity and being as contrary as possible. He plays some amazing guitar and dances way too well for a man who has so little training. There are somedays when he amazes me with his insight, professionalism and kindness. Then there are others when he proves me right with his sarcastic laziness. The latter happen most frequently. He and I also have problems with the whole "aiming while kissing" thing.

Brannon- Jud Fry, R.F Simpson, and Richard. Talk about insecure. He's the first to find fault in everyone besides himself. At first I disliked him, but recently as he and I have interacted more, he's beginning to grow on me and I don't despise him so much. We joke and play around now. He's not the most amazing of actors, but I love his voice, even though it's fairly limited to it's classical training. The more I learn about the kid the more I like him. I just wish he could see what was good in himself and stop trying so hard to prove it all the time.

Luke- Curly McClain, "Ensemble", and Roscoe Dexter. He is called enigma for a reason. He and I probably interact the least of all the guys in the cast, though I hear more about him from my roommates than any other guy. He's the oldest member of the company, coming in at 27, I believe. He's quite knowledgeable about a lot of things and is more comfortable to sit in the background than to take a leading role. His exploits with the ladies cause more drama in my house than my clashes with Austin. Probably more to come on that later.

Kai- Andrew Carnes, Don Lockwood, tech crew. Oh, Mr. Blakesley. There's not much you can say to describe Kai, except maybe a reformed player (of basketball and other things) who could charm the husk of the corn. He and I are the only non-musical theatre majors in the company. He was studying Physical Therapy and is now hoping to serve a mission. Of the guys, he's the one I'm the closest too. He reminds me of Fune and though he is the hottest of the males I cannot muster any form of attraction for him. He can dance well, though he still has to control his mouth hanging open like a door when he does it. He doesn't like to hurt anyones feelings so, of course, he ends up hurting them even more. He's ripped like nobody's business and is obsessed with working out and being healthy. Because of this, he's also fairly shallow and judges a lot of things on appearances.

Scoot- The techie. We love Scoot. He's from Jersey, just barely baptized into the church a few months ago and you could say he's still trying to conform. He's got a bit of a temper on him, but he's good if you need a hug or just want to laze around for a while. He rides a scooter, which is probably the coolest thing ever. Also, his fingers never fully formed on his right hand, so he does everything with his nubs and his left hand, including rock climbing. He's a genuinely nice guy who gets snubbed by the girls all the time. It makes me a little sad.

T-Bone- Cord Elam. He was the emergency hire to fill in Oklahoma! after Jeremy left, and we are soooooo glad he's here! He brings a burst of positive energy to the otherwise negative and hateful atmosphere. Whenever we do Oklahoma! we (especially the girls) get incredibly excited because he know T-Bone will be there. He guides on the river during the day, plays at night. He's not an incredibly attractive man, but he's cuddly like a teddy bear. He redefines the definition of cool as he rocks out on his harmonica and plays chill guitar with his full beard and shaggy hair.

Those are pretty much all the definitions I can muster up right now. Give me another day or two...or possibly just tomorrow since I'm working at the box office again tomorrow, and I'll fill you in on all the girls in the company. And yes, I'm sitting here typing thi sall at work. But see, just like texting, I'm able to multi-task smiling, answering the phone, and typing at the same time.

And a gay couple totally just walked past me wearing Hollister. Take that surfer dudes.

I'm off the clock in about ten minutes. Now I'm left trying to decide what to do with the four hours of freedom before I have to report to do Singin' in the Rain tonight. I wonder what dramam will unfurl during this performance. Last performance Austin told me to shut the f*** up, which, instead of hurting me or making me actually shut up, just caused me to laugh at him. Also, Brannon freaked out on everyone for laughing offstage during the last scene. Apparently we were being disrespectful to Ami and Kai, though when I talked to Ami about it she had no idea what I was talking about as she could hear us at all. It made me laugh. Though in my defense, what Tami and I were laughing about was hysterical. I'm smiling now thinking of it.

Alright, I'm off. Toodles!

-Jillian

p.s. I've decided that every post will be titled with a quote that somehow relates to some of the happenings in my blog. ...this one is pretty obvious.

Long time no type!

Wow, so I haven't written on this for a very long time. Though, the reason why I'm typing is pretty selfish. I'm watching T.V. and I'm making comments to myself that I think are pretty funny, but no one else is here to appreciate me. So I'm going to talk to myself.

My life is so freaking boring right now. Sheriously. All I do is wake up, go to work, come home, run, veg, go to rehearsal. Okay, so that's not really all. I also go to a different job which mixes up my schedule a little. And sometimes I have dance rehearsals at different times. But pretty much it's work and rehearsals. Which gets really boring. I'm deprived of any intellectual simulation and it's horrible. I miss it so much! I mean, yeah, i have to alphabatize and everything but that's not really all that stimulationg, okay? I miss debating religion and politics. I miss breaking down languages to have them make more sense. I miss pondering on deep, philisophical subjects and stumbling on life-changing ideas. It just doesn't happen anymore. i am glad that I'm making money though. It's pretty important for that whole "paying for college" thing. Then I'll completley have my fill of eerything thought-provoking and philosphical. I guess I just have to keep focused on that. Oh well