GO YELLOWCARD!!!

Ohmigosh, I just had to have had what is considered to be an obscene amount of fun. It's too long of a story to type right now (I have to leave in like, a half hour for the football game and I still have to get dressed and all that junk :P) but I'll just say it involved forgotten homework, papers from my locker, junk from my car, both the J.V. and Varsity football teams, Tom McKinney, Raage, the Varsity football moms, some random band kids, two miscellenous peoples lockers, and a lot of loud music. It was SWEET! I'm still riding on the high of it and we got back to Meghan's house at like, five or a little thereafter.

Anyway, I should probably go. I love you all! Hugs and kisses!

Toodles!

-Jillian

Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

I have been pondering lately on the thought of manipulation. It's a disease that runs rampant in modern society, usually practiced by vindictive females. I've never been exposed to it in great quantities as my parents have taught us that playing with other peoples emotions and causing others to feel things they might not otherwise feel is not the best way to make friends. But as of late I've run into it. I've been a victim of it. Which makes me wonder; what is manipulation, exactly?

Through days - alright, it was only a few hours, possibly one hour - I've come to realize what it is and why certain people are more vulnerable for it than others.

Manipulation in it's simpliest form is the twisting of someone else's emotions. According to dictionary.com it's the - exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage. I suppose we all do this at times, without realizing it. We vent to someone because we know they'll feel sorry for you and they'll relate. You let a comment slip about how you're not feeling well so someone will ask you what's wrong. But it's the last part of the definition that makes manipulation so horrible. It's when you manipulate them for your own gain, your own recreation, or to meet your own needs. That's when manipulation becomes wrong.

So, here's the question. Who's vulnerable for manipulation? Basically, any one that's needy. Being clingy or too open or trusting will set you up faster than a New York minute. By letting someone in on that little piece of information that no one else knows, the deep dark secret that you just have to tell this person because "they'll never hurt you", you're letting them have too much of you. We - especially women - get sucked into this easily because we feel that this person is good to talk to, or that they think you're special because they care about what's bothering you. Unfortunately, it's only after a period of confusion and heart ache that you realize this person is not manipulating you through the information they've collected. And while this doesn't make them horrible, it definiately becomes frustrating.

So what am I saying exactly? Unless you've seen someone care deeply about another person, other than their family, don't trust them with your little secrets. You never know how they'll turn on you.

Toodles!

-Jillian

Being a teenager's like being a mouth; it bites - Raage Sofe

Life is weird. I don't know what else to say on the subject, so I think I'll just leave it at that and let you all interpret it the way you want.

So, my hands are freezing. I just spent a half hour at the 8th street hill doing homework. I think that's the most productive I've been since like...well, ever. There's something calming and focusing about that hill. I wish I had a laptop so I could do all my homework there instead of having to come back home and getting easily distracted.

So I'm super excited about the game tonight. I don't know why, but the games seems to be the highlight of my "social" week. Though, for some reason, they always leaves me really confused by something, usually someone. It's strange. It's amazing how people bring out certain traits in others. Especially when the person is of the opposite sex. It's kind of sad. Everyone talks about how High School's really cool and it's awesome. I think it's kind of pitiful. Just how people put so much trust in others and allow them to almost recieve a part of them, usually without realizing they're doing it and caring about that person that much. And then, of course, the other person doesn't care about them as much - if at all. Meanwhile, guys follow girls who use feminine whiles, and girls who genuinly care get squashed. Guys fonder over girls who don't care, but pretend they do so they can get what they want from them.

Doesn't this sound like the wonders of High School? And yet, I still like it. Not the painful parts of it, mind, just the fun parts where you don't have to worry about others feelings. Like football games. :-D

Toodles!

-Jillian

My power color? Completely awesome, I'm cool with that...

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Anyway, for all those thinking I was incredibly insane today, sorry 'bout that. Especially...well, actually, he kind of deserved it, as much as I love the bum. Bah, anyhoo, how is everyone? I'm feeling sort of bogged down with schoolwork and stuff. It's really weird, because the weekend was really nice, especially Saturday and parts of Sunday. Friday night was cool too.

Why is it that people put up fronts? I know that there has to be an answer and that ten to one it makes sense, and even more importantly, I probably know the reason, because I put up fronts an insane amount. Unfortunately I'm not sure I know what the answer is. But I do know that it makes getting close and understanding people insanely hard. It's gotten to the point that the people/person I analyze the most is the one I'm around the most, and I can't understand people being straight forward anymore. I analyze without realizing it.

Anyway, that's just my rant for the day. I'm signing off!

Toodles!

-Jillian

So we went to the game today

I've never felt this naked and scared in my life...

-Jillian

Life is so moronic!

wow, so we just got back from having a very interesting conversation with Raage's mom...heh...heh heh heh...ohmigosh...i'm still laughing and it's been like, a half hour! "Sometimes, because of the mom's hormone's..." HOLY CRAP! I swear I turned three shades of purple, and then some.

Anyway, I feel like pooh scraped over too much toast. Wow...this is kind of cool...I can change font color!

So, my life has very little distinction. I find changing font colors fascinating. Also, life is incredibly boring right now, because I finished the book I was reading and now want another one to read. But I don't think I'm going to get the book I was hoping for, cuz he hasn't finished reading it yet.

College is a confusing decision. Need I say more?

Comp sucks. Why did he have to pick this topic? I sincerely think he did it on purpose to see what we're going to do.

Okay, irony: how can a top ten list only have 6 things listed? Huh? HUH?! That makes me angry. They didn't even have Romeo and Juliet!

Now that I've let you into the truly random ramblings and rants from my head I hope you realize how insane I truly am.

Good-bye, and don't chew on tin foil! I'm off to take some drugs, eat something warm, and maybe to read/watch TV/sleep.

Toooooodles!

-Jillian

Anyone wanna make out with an otter?

(Added pictures later, just cuz it's creepy...)

So, here I sit in A.P. Comp "looking up information on the Iraq War". I swear I'm doing it, really. Okay, so maybe not.

Anyway, Mr. Duncan just said I remind him of an otter, meaning that I like to have fun. Which I do. And I think if some people consider that immature they can go stick it, because honestly, I've learned that as long as I'm not harming myself or others dancing in the hallways, singing really loudly, beating people up (specific people, mind, so I'm not technically harming others...), blasting loud music, talking, and laughing a lot, are all okay pastimes. In fact, they're really fun past times. Almost as fun as sitting here...doing nothing...just waiting for the bell to ring...

Wow, I think this is the first time I've ever had to work in the computer lab without actually saying "hm, we should be getting something done, huh?" Weird. I suppose it's a good thing Raage left then. Except before I wanted to work, now I REALLY don't.

But now I just have to decide what I'm doing with my weekend. My mom will be disapointed if I don't go to the stake dance but Darcy will be disapointed since I promised her I'd go to the game with her, and Kaitlin wants me to go with her to the game too. But then if I go to the game, someone's going to drag me to homecoming and I don't know if I want t go to that.

And then there's tonight! Ugh! It's so confusing! All I know is that I'm going to the game...what I'm doing after is completely up in the air.

Oh good, Raage's back, I don't have to do work.

Toodles!

-Jillian

18 Ways to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point your hair dryer at passing cars...see if they slow down

2) Page yourself over the intercom...don't disguise your voice

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that

4) Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their cafeine addiction, switch to espresso

6) In the memo field of all your checks write "for smuggling diamonds"

7) Finish all your sentances with "In accored to prophecy"

8) Don't use punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk

10) Order a diet water with a serious face whenever you go eat

11) Specify that your drive through order is "to go"

12) Sing along at the opera

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14) Put mosquite netting around your locker and play tropical sounds all day

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't go to a party because you're not in the mood

16) Have your peers address you by your wrestling name: Rock Bottom

17) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

And last but not least...

18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

Ah...so today was cool...dancing in the parking lot...laughing hysterically on the floor because Meghan messed up the Bio Lab results...it was great... Actually it was fun to do something random and impulsive, I haven't really done that for a while.

Well, I'm off to eat chocolate. And remember, nothing can't be fixed by dancing, a hug, and a good snog!

Toodles!

-Jillian